Musings

We don’t ever stray from our path in life. We only ever lose sight. We lose sight of our goals or our values or our priorities. Our path, though…? No, we don’t stray as much as we fail to be present. When we have enough presence with the moment at hand, it is possible to realize that we are precisely where we are supposed to be.

One of the beautiful things about the simplicity of life is that whenever we despair, all we have to do is look down at our feet. This is where we can again find our path. When found again, all that remains is to simply acknowledge and follow the path.

This morning, someone shared a bit of wisdom that they got from Katie Couric.  In essence, the idea is simply this: life is a series of reboots.  So, hold the power button down for a couple of seconds, let the screen go blank, hit the power again to turn everything back on, and wait for the Blue Screen of Death.  Kidding.  It’s a metaphor; you get the drift.

 

We are continually presented with opportunities to reframe our thinking and approach life as if it were all new again.

 

This past weekend marked a significant anniversary in my life.  It was the 1-year anniversary of my family’s return from our adventure living in Europe.  A year ago this weekend, we found ourselves back where we started, unexpectedly rebooting in ways we hadn’t anticipated.  Blue Screen of Death?  Not really, but it wasn’t quite the immediate success we’d hoped for.  After all, who hopes for anything other than immediate and total success?  I don’t know many people who do, and those who do are just not that fun to be around.  Regardless, I found myself looking back 365 days and acknowledging that life had become an interlude.  The past year has been a transitional period somewhere in the space between the unlimited possibilities of life before our adventure and the uncertainty of life after.  I can’t say we put life on hold.  We simply allowed the current to take hold of the journey.

 

But those 365 days have passed.  So much is now new again.  It’s time to gracefully power down and elect to reboot.  I’ve been working towards this goal for a few months now, and, once again, I find myself successful in the endeavor.  It’s not that the future is once again filled with unlimited possibilities.  I can simply see them again because I choose to do so.

 

I choose to see the unlimited possibilities that await as a result of the reboot.

On June 19, 2010, Katie Fisher was involved in a car accident in Baltimore. She was hit by a driver who ran a red light. The other driver survived. Katie died. Both drivers held valid insurance policies. Katie’s was with Progressive. The other driver was insured by Nationwide. Unfortunately, the other driver was underinsured. Fortunately, Katie’s policy provided coverage to protect her from uninsured and underinsured drivers. Or at least that’s what her family thought.

Nationwide covered the full cost of their insured’s policy, $25,000, and disbursed funds to Katie’s family without much delay. Progressive, Katie’s insurer, was to cover the balance of her policy. However, as of August 14, 2012, they have not paid her family. The only support Progressive has supplied in the matter? How about legal counsel that sat beside Katie’s “killer” during his civil trial? Hard to believe, but it’s true. Progressive sent an attorney to sit at the defendant’s table during trial. Why? Because if the defendant lost the civil trial, it would prove his culpability, and, in the State of Maryland, you apparently need that verdict to go after an insurance company refusing to pay to cover an underinsured driver. Hard to believe, but you can read more about it here http://mattfisher.tumblr.com/post/29338478278/my-sister-paid-progressive-insu… and here http://www.progressive.com/understanding-insurance/entries/2012/8/14/statemen….

The second link is Progressive’s latest statement on the matter. I would direct your attention to the comments posted by the public. Which brings me to my point: you can wage a war about the validity and truth of your position in the face of opposition, but it doesn’t guarantee that you will win anything in the process. It’s a pyrrhic victory: you burn everything to the ground in order to declare victory. Whether it’s Progressive defending their actions, Bayer defending the safety of the systemic pesticides they produce, or Monsanto buying the research firm that implicated it (and that safe Bayer systemic pesticide) in the phenomenon known as Bee Colony Collapse Disorder, manipulating, bullying, and obfuscating information and people takes a toll on any brand. Any brand.

The lesson for the Average Joe, for you and for me, is that the brand we build for ourselves can be endangered at a moment’s notice. Our subsequent actions will have implications for the work we do, the lives we live, and the healthy of our personal brands. Positive or negative, the impact is directly dependent on how we choose to address or not address the threat. Just proceed knowing that you have choices to make, and you will have to live with the consequences of those decisions. It’s such an elementary lesson, but we see it ignored or forgotten over and over again.

As my mom always said to me, “Think before you do things.” Simple, invaluable wisdom from my mom. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind my sharing it for free.

It’s easy to say that you’re “doing well” even if you aren’t.  Does everyone really want to hear your sob story when they ask you, “How are you today?”  It’s better (and easier) to just robotically respond, “I’m doing well, thanks.” But what if, for a little variety, you told the truth?  What if you responded in a genuine manner?  What would the other person do?

 

When I was a very young manager, I remember running into someone one morning and asking them, “How are you?”  Their response: “Shitty.”  I was stunned, so, I kept filling up my water bottle.  After a few seconds pause, he continued, “Why is it that when you tell someone how you really feel, they don’t give a crap?”  He walked away.  Still stunned, I walked back to my desk, not quite sure how to process the exchange that I’d just experienced. 

 

The next day, I went to the guy’s desk (we’ll call him Bill), and I said, “Bill, I am sorry that I didn’t respond to you yesterday when you told me that you were having a lousy day.”  He apologized for being grouchy, but I told him that I learned something from the interaction.  “I promise you,” I told him, “that I will always, always take the time to listen to the answer when I ask someone how they are doing.”  He sort of looked at me a little oddly, apologized again, and looked at me.  I thanked him for the lesson and let him go back to his work.

 

Bill’s lesson was one of the first I learned about being present with the moment.  He also taught me about the value in being genuine with others.  I wish I could say that I have not faltered in my promise to Bill.  I have.  However, I am always aware enough to notice it when it happens, and I have made it a practice to apologize to the right people and seek to repair whatever damage may have been done.

 

The real value in Bill’s lesson, though, has more to do with the positive things that can come from being present with others and giving them the attention they deserve.  I rarely, if ever, take a call when I am meeting one-on-one with someone else.  I am often asked, “Do you need to get that?”  I normally respond, “It’s OK.  I can call them back.”  99% of the time, that’s true.  This might seem like a small thing, but the little things are the things that make the real difference.  The details create the strongest associations.  In my experience, taking an extra second or two to look someone in the eyes and allow a true, inner smile to come to my face when asking, “How are you?” is a great way to invite someone into your day to share the experience of living.  I’m not saying that everyone stops dead in their tracks to engage, nor am I saying that everyone remembers.  What I am saying is that the invitation, the attention, and the time are often enough to give that other person the opportunity to bring a little positive energy into their day.  What a fantastic gift to give someone who might need just a little boost.

It’s easy to say that you’re “doing well” even if you aren’t.  Does everyone really want to hear your sob story when they ask you, “How are you today?”  It’s better (and easier) to just robotically respond, “I’m doing well, thanks.” But what if, for a little variety, you told the truth?  What if you responded in a genuine manner?  What would the other person do?

 

When I was a very young manager, I remember running into someone one morning and asking them, “How are you?”  Their response: “Shitty.”  I was stunned, so, I kept filling up my water bottle.  After a few seconds pause, he continued, “Why is it that when you tell someone how you really feel, they don’t give a crap?”  He walked away.  Still stunned, I walked back to my desk, not quite sure how to process the exchange that I’d just experienced. 

 

The next day, I went to the guy’s desk (we’ll call him Bill), and I said, “Bill, I am sorry that I didn’t respond to you yesterday when you told me that you were having a lousy day.”  He apologized for being grouchy, but I told him that I learned something from the interaction.  “I promise you,” I told him, “that I will always, always take the time to listen to the answer when I ask someone how they are doing.”  He sort of looked at me a little oddly, apologized again, and looked at me.  I thanked him for the lesson and let him go back to his work.

 

Bill’s lesson was one of the first I learned about being present with the moment.  He also taught me about the value in being genuine with others.  I wish I could say that I have not faltered in my promise to Bill.  I have.  However, I am always aware enough to notice it when it happens, and I have made it a practice to apologize to the right people and seek to repair whatever damage may have been done.

 

The real value in Bill’s lesson, though, has more to do with the positive things that can come from being present with others and giving them the attention they deserve.  I rarely, if ever, take a call when I am meeting one-on-one with someone else.  I am often asked, “Do you need to get that?”  I normally respond, “It’s OK.  I can call them back.”  99% of the time, that’s true.  This might seem like a small thing, but the little things are the things that make the real difference.  The details create the strongest associations.  In my experience, taking an extra second or two to look someone in the eyes and allow a true, inner smile to come to my face when asking, “How are you?” is a great way to invite someone into your day to share the experience of living.  I’m not saying that everyone stops dead in their tracks to engage, nor am I saying that everyone remembers.  What I am saying is that the invitation, the attention, and the time are often enough to give that other person the opportunity to bring a little positive energy into their day.  What a fantastic gift to give someone who might need just a little boost

I’m 40.5 now. I would say that I’m “40 and a half years old” if I were 10, but I’m not. So, it’s 40.5.

Half of my year at 40 is gone. Once it’s gone, of course, 40 will be gone forever. An old friend told me recently that there is something magical about 40. I get it. It’s a milestone, sure, but, like I shared with someone today, I look at 40 and think to myself, “Man, I’ve got such a long way to go.” Granted, other cosmic plans notwithstanding.

At 40.5, there is no other direction to head but forward.

I has a scary thought the other day: what if I have more things I want to do than I have hours in a day? What if…?

The truth, as it turns out, is that there are more things to do than there are hours allotted to each day for such tasks. Evidence follows.

There are at least 8 hours to dedicate to work most days. That leaves 16 hours.

Realistically, I sleep about 6 of those hours away. That leaves 10.

I drive for about 3 of them. That leaves 7.

I spend about 2 getting ready for work between the morning and the evening. That leaves 5.

Take away another hour and a half (very conservative) for slivers here and there that I didn’t account for. 3 or so left.

In those 3 hours I get to be husband, father, writer, artist, blogger, consumer, gardener, whatever. Sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? In reality, it’s not. There is seldom that much time, all at once, each and every day.

So, that’s the problem statement. What’s the solution? Any ideas?

Serendipity.  Happy accidents.  Coincidence.

I’m not the only one trying to tell you that you’ve got something special to contribute.  Blogger, author, entrepreneur, and all-around generous, kind soul, Seth Godin, thinks you do, too.

http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b31569e20167649a6505970b

Everyone has something exceptional hidden inside of them that they are just waiting to release. That means you, my friend. It’s in there. You know it. It knows you. You know each other. Only you can unlock it and free it. Only you can set it loose on the world. Do no harm, only good. Spread love. You’ve got the capacity…much more than you realize. It will shine through in whatever you unleash if your intention is pure and your heart is involved. Just let it out. Please. For all of our sakes. Just say, “Screw it!” and let loose. Let loose, my friend. You owe it to yourself, and, hey, I won’t mind benefitting from it myself.

Everyone has something exceptional hidden inside of them that they are just waiting to release. That means you, my friend. It’s in there. You know it. It knows you. You know each other. Only you can unlock it and free it. Only you can set it loose on the world. Do no harm, only good. Spread love. You’ve got the capacity…much more than you realize. It will shine through in whatever you unleash if your intention is pure and your heart is involved. Just let it out. Please. For all of our sakes. Just say, “Screw it!” and let loose. Let loose, my friend. You owe it to yourself, and, hey, I won’t mind benefitting from it myself.