Musings

The limitations are inside of your head. For the most part.

I’m not saying that EVERYTHING you want you can have, exactly when you want it and in exactly the way you want it. What I am saying is that once you make the decision, the main thing holding you back is you. The obstacles you perceive are mainly that: perceived. My dad always taught me that perception is reality, and that has been such a valuable lesson to carry through life. So, in a sense, your obstacles are real. They’re just real as long as you perceive them to be real. Perception is the name of the game.

Think of it this way. Let’s say there’s a position you want at work, and you make that decision to do everything in your power to have that position. Let’s say it doesn’t work out. There are people in your way. There are policies you can’t get around. There are obstacles that simply cannot be overcome. Now what?

Simple: envision a new path to the destination. When we get stuck it’s often because of a lack of imagination or a stubbornness to give up what we thought would happen and look for the new path of what could happen. Are you resigned to being bitter about how things didn’t work out the way you planned? Or are you dedicated to finding a new path? You can still get there, to that original destination, but the path might take longer or wander someplace you didn’t want to go or require you to take on other tasks you wanted to avoid in getting there. Or maybe the destination was wrong all along. There’s always that.

We are limited by our child-like need to control the variables. Once we open ourselves up to the possibilities, the possibilities we perceive will increase exponentially. Our lack of creativity becomes irrelevant because what the Universe can present to us is far greater than anything we could imagine anyway.

The limitations are inside of your head.

Mothers perform the proverbial lion’s share of so much of the work that goes into raising little humans into big humans. Period. I know there are exceptions and anomalies, but most people would have to agree that mothers really do the heavy lifting.

I am grateful for my mother and everything she has done to help me get where I am today.

Ditto my wife. She has done for me, but, more importantly, my little boys will grow to be good men because their mother will do the hard work of getting them there.

Ditto so many other mothers…

Happy Mother’s Day to all mothers. On behalf of the sons and daughters who don’t know any better or can’t articulate the sentiment, thank you. Just…thank you.

My favorite synonym for “mediocre” is “ordinary”.

So, if you’re goal is to achieve the state of being mediocre, also known as mediocrity, you don’t have to do much other than…well…not much.  Or you can fall these rules (don’t worry…you don’t have to follow ALL of them):

1. Convince yourself that the rut is the safest part of the road, even though it’s really not because all you need is one wagon to remind you why hanging out in ruts isn’t the brightest idea.

2. Hang out in the shadow of much cooler, more interesting, more generous, and infinitely happier go-getters.  These people can cast long shadows, so find a dark spot shouldn’t be too hard.  Just don’t get too comfy in the dark.  Why?  Also not a safe place to be.  See the following movies as evidence: Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, Pitch Black, The Descent, or 30 Days of Night.

3. Find reasons to do tomorrow that which you could clearly do today.  Like take a leap of faith or make lemonade.

4. Try fitting a square peg in a round hole.  Talk to the peg.  Tell it why fitting into the round hole is a great opportunity for growth.  When it resists, talk to it some more.  When it refuses to fit, find a sharp knife and whittle it down to a roundish shape.  Then, stick it in the hole.  Ask it how it feels now.

5. Be the square beg.

6. Let yourself be more afraid of looking stupid or not succeeding or showing the world that you are imperfect than you are of never doing the things you really want to do.

There you have it: 6 steps to achieving mediocrity.  The best part is that you don’t have to aspire to achieving all 6!  You only need to do 1 or 2 really well.  Heck, you don’t even need to do them really well.  Shooting for a half-assed implementation should do the trick.

 

 

Here’s something disturbing that happens to me on a regular basis: I pay attention to my posture when I’m sitting at my desk.  Have you ever done that?  Scary, isn’t it?  When you become conscious of your posture, you notice all kinds of things.  For example, you notice that you have lousy posture.  You notice that your feet are falling asleep, and you didn’t even realize it.  You notice that your neck is aching.  You notice that your hands are all gnarled and incorrectly positioned.  You notice that your shoulders are tensed up and slightly raised.  Your back isn’t straight.  In short, your body is a mangled mass of stressed-out, unnaturally configured human being.  

 

Catch that last part?  Human being. 

 

Like I tell my boys, our bodies are soft, fragile things.  Our physical self is nothing more than some bones and the squishy parts that surround them!  So, I just went through the exercise of bringing consciousness to my present moment.  My shoulders are relaxed now.  My back is straight.  My head is held up (but my screen is too low, so I’ve got some work to do for this one).  My arms and hands are more properly positioned.  My feet are planted flat on the ground.  I just nibbled on a Larabar.  In short, I am conscious of my human beingness.  Consciousness leads to presence, and presence leads to happiness.  It really does. 

 

There are all kinds of reasons why we might become so distracted and so stressed that our physical beings become outward manifestations of our emotional and spiritual state.  Take a moment, from time to time, to allow your humanity to flow through and overpower whatever negative energy might be permeating your body.  Your squishy parts will be happier and will thank you.  You might just feel a little better in the process, too!

Positive matters for the simple reason that being and staying positive makes everything better. It makes the world a nicer place. It makes it easier to enjoy your family. Not unlike garlic, it makes food taste better. It makes vision clearer. It makes hugs warmer. It makes working with other people so much simpler.

Positive matters because, without it, good isn’t quite as great as it could be.

You cannot choose for yourself.  You are too dumb to choose for yourself.  You are not worthy to choose for yourself.  Sit down.  Be quiet.  Wait to be chosen.

Wait to be called upon.

Wait for the selection.

Wait to be tapped on the shoulder.

Wait to be annointed.

Wait to be given the opportunity.

Wait to prove yourself more worthy than your peers.

Wait for the succession plan to slide you in the slot they’ve chosen for you.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait to be told you can retire.

Wait to be told you can begin to live your “real life” now that your time has come.

Wait until you have arranged everything just so.

Wait until you’ve planned out the realization of your dreams.

Wait.

At some point, the waiting has to end.  You choose when to make your dreams reality.  Or you an wait so long that you slip out of this life with so many unfulfilled dreams left behind to evaporate into nothing.

Did you know that you can choose now as opposed to then?  Did you know that you can choose so many whens and hows throughout your lifetime?  Did you know that you have the right to choose?  You have the right to choose.

You have the right to choose.  You are worthy.  You deserve more.  You deserve peace.  You deserve fulfillment.  You deserve happiness.

You can choose for yourself.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I wrote about leaders and teachers over at BuildingConfidentLeaders.com:

We’re all teachers in one way or another. At times we’re the lighthouse guiding ships through dark and stormy times. At times we’re the majestic mountain, easily seen from a distance and a landmark for navigating life’s tricky paths. And at times we’re the grounded ocean freighter, leaking oil into the sea and rusting slowly atop one of life’s hidden but treacherous reefs. Lighthouse…mountain…freighter. We teach intentionally and unintentionally. Either way, we teach.

Check out the rest here: http://buildingconfidentleaders.com/2012/05/02/a-purposeful-teacher-a-reflect…

Not my list. But does that matter? I can’t recall where I got it. It’s an awesome list.

You can totally do it…

7 Steps:

1. Look around until you find something that interests you.
2. Think about it a lot.
3. Make some interesting observations.
4. Have a few new ideas and form a couple of theories.
5. Put your ideas and theories to the test, then
6. Begin sharing what you’ve learned.
7. Continue to repeat steps 2 through 6 and soon you’ll be recognized as an expert. Crowds will come from far and wide to hear what you have to say. You’ll be asked to speak at conferences. People will give you money. Yes, it really is that easy.

When you sit too long in the same position, your foot falls asleep. Or your leg goes numb. Or your butt aches. These are your body’s way of telling you that you better get up and move. We’re designed to get up and move. It’s part of the machinery. You’ve got to keep it lubed and flexible. Discomfort is nature’s sign that it is time to move on unless you’re interested in atrophied limbs or blood clots.

Emotional discomfort is pretty much the same thing. Chances are, you know exactly what I’m saying. You can relate. And chances are, in one aspect of your life or another, you’re feeling discomfort. Maybe not. Maybe it’s just me. It’s not that I don’t think that there are people out there who are at peace with the balance in their lives and who truly aren’t ignoring the discomfort, but I just don’t think that there are more of them than there are the rest of us.

You can figure out where you fall in the spectrum. There’s nothing wrong with placing yourself anywhere other than “Zen-like state of bliss” on said spectrum. I listened to an interview that Piers Morgan conducted with the Dalai Lama not to long ago. Piers asked him if he ever tried alcohol or smoking or other kinds of drugs. The answer, of course, was “no”. Do I believe him? Sure. I do. And I also think that he’s an exception. We should all be so lucky.

I think discomfort is good. It keeps us awake. It keeps us honest. The problem isn’t experiencing the discomfort. You should allow yourself to feel it. Relish it, in fact. Embrace it. Listen to it. Follow it. It will take you to amazing places. The problems arise when you find yourself ignoring the discomfort. That leads to the emotional equivalent of blood clots, and those suckers can kill. If nothing else, they damage.

OK.  Read this article first.

 

I bet 96% of all “super-taskers” are women.  Sorry guys, but you know it’s true.  I think the studies cited in the Wall Street Journal article (name dropping to increase my own credibility) support my “Mastodon Theory”.  A man cannot multi-task because we are hard-wired for exceptional powers of focus.  Like human lasers without the devastating heat effects we sometimes wish we had, the male brain is capable of zeroing in on a single source of stimulus to the exclusion of all others.  This amazing skill reached its evolutionary pinnacle towards the latter part of the Pleistocene, roughly 15,000 years ago.  When you are a small, hairy mammal with no visible means of protection other than a few animal pelts and a sharp stick (we have no fangs, claws, or armored shells to speak of), absolute focus on the Mastodon (genus Mammut) standing in front of you is pretty much a good skill to master.  Critical, actually.  Thus, we cannot multi-task.

Voila: the “Mastodon Theory”.

 

No?

 

Alright, maybe you’ll grant me this: the brains of boys and girls do not develop in the same way, at least not when you start getting down into the nitty-gritty and don’t just look at the basic human trends.  As an anthropology student, I learned that there are trends and characteristics that serve to differentiate between species, and then there are trends and characteristics that serve to differentiate within species.  All I’m saying is that when you get into it at the intra-species level, you have to admit that there’s a good chance that the men in your life will be doing that Mastodon thing more often than they will that super-tasker thing.  Provided, of course, they can do the latter at all.  Conversely, the women in your life will be managing many more moving parts.  All at the same time.

 

I guess the point I am attempting to make is simple: there is a biological basis for human behavior, and the behavior in which we engage is often indicative of the talents we possess.  There are also trends to these behaviors.  So, if you become conscious of the trends and attempt to study some of the ways in which the human brain functions, you’ll open your mind to a whole new way of perceiving and appreciating the people with whom you interact.  We may not be facing down those Mastodons any more, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t an echo of those ancient moments reverbrating inside of us today.  All of us.