Category: Uncategorized

Credibility is granted by one person to another. I think it is that simple. We all agree that the letters “MD” after a name give an individual instant credibility. From time to time a horror story about someone impersonating a doctor hits the headlines, but that’s really not the norm. Still, the letters alone don’t make a person a worthy doctor. There’s more to it. There are several criteria involved, and we all might apply them differently. The point is that credibility is partially subjective, therefore, it is granted. It is not an inherent characteristic of a person. It is a gift, and it really should be a crime to abuse that gift. But it’s not, so people do.

See, credibility is not hard to acquire. For example, you’re reading this post for a reason. If you came for just the title, you’re probably disappointed by now. That’s OK. If you came because you like the way I write or you find truth in what I say or you think I am an arrogant ass and you get a kick out of rolling your eyes at me, the fact still remains that you came. You came, you stayed, and you are still reading. So, you’ve granted me credibility as someone who has something to say. At minimum, I write well enough to hold your interest.

That is a form of credibility that I have acquired from you. I can build on that credibility by continuing to post witty, informative, thought-provoking snippets for you to read. Regardless, it is a gift that you have given to me, and I take it very seriously.

We all have instant credibility with people: at work we might have it because we give good presentations; with children we might have it just because we’re taller than they are; with our spouses we might have it because they think we’re really smart. No matter how it is that we come by the gift, the most important thing is to remember that it was given in good conscience, in good faith, in the hope that we might positively influence another person’s life. That is a huge responsibility, but it’s one that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Give it to me, and I will use it compassionately.

Written language in most Western cultures owes much of it’s heritage to the Greeks. The Greeks “perfected” the art of written language, and their art flows from left to right. Do you know what that means? That means that reading and writing Western languages provides an opportunity to exercise the left side of your brain. How? When you read, your eyes move from left to right, as does your head. This is considered right side motion by your body, thus it is controlled primarily from the left side of your brain. Written language flowing from the right pretty much guaranteed a predominantly left-brained society. That translated to a predominantly right-handed society, too. Now you know why 90% of the people you meet are right-handed.

Left-to-right written language is focused primarily on order and sequential processing. This means that the precise order of every letter, every space, and every mark of punctuation has a specific meaning. It reinforces logic and text. Interestingly enough, there are languages that flow from right to left, and these right-to-left languages, such as most Arabic forms, are based on context over text. Vowels are often omitted, yet the placement of vowels in words in these languages is no less vital to differentiating what a word means than it is in left-to-right languages. For example, if we omitted vowels in English, “stmp” could be “stamp,” “stomp,” or “stump,” three entirely different words. In right-to-left languages, the overall context of what is being written provides the information required to understand which word is needed in a given sentence. “Stmp” gains meaning from its context relative to the words around it and the topic of the writing. While this sounds confusing to people who use a left-to-right language, the fact of the matter is that our right-to-left brothers and sisters have an amazingly well-refined ability to understand context, and they focus on the big picture over the details in language as well as in other cognitive pursuits. And, in case it escaped you, right-to-left language requires motion towards the left, thus it is controlled by the right side of the brain. That would encourage development and growth of the right hemisphere of the brain, and, more than likely, result in left-handedness.

We have preconceived notions of what it means to be right-handed vs. left-handed and right-brained vs. left-brained. Some of these ideas are based in fact, some in fiction. You now have information that you can use to come up with new assumptions. When you see someone who is left-handed, you might conclude that they are creative. Why? Because now you know that left-handedness means they have a developed right brain, and we all know that right-brained people are more creative. But do you really think that the brain is that simple? After all, these people still read from left to right. They still live in a society that looks to the left brain to provide the answers. As with all things, assumptions are filled with errors. Regardless, it is clear that Western cultures promote a right-handed, left-brained approach to life, one focused on logic, sequential information processing, and detail-oriented analytic skills. That is the Modern World in a nutshell.

But, the world is changing, evolving. It does not come as a surprise to me that cultural evolution is increasingly influenced from the Eastern cultures of our world, and it has been that way for the better part of the last century. That many of the challenges that face humanity are brewing in this part of the world as a result of conflict between East and West should not be a shock. There has been Western dominance in the world for many, many years, and the Eastern part of our world is simply beginning to counterbalance this spread of dominance.

It is time for a reconciliation, for the many parts of the world to come together, to function as one, just as our brains do for us. Hemisphere dominance cannot continue unabated. The world is unbalanced.

While there is also hemisphere dominance in our brains, diseases and traumas of the brain have showed us the indescribable, breath-taking power of the brain to adapt, to compensate for the injured side. It is a powerful metaphor for the interdependence of our world; as it is in our bodies, so it must be with the world.

There are things that we can do, as individuals, to help bring about this understanding. Written communication is so important to our relationships, and written communication is a key method of influence. Exert your influence over those with whom you come into contact. It is probably worth remembering that there is a need to appeal to the healthy, modern human brains with which we interact. There is a corpus callosum that joins the two brain hemispheres together, allowing for whole, integrated human thought. The corpus callosum is literal, but there is a metaphor in it, as well. YOU can be the structure, the mechanism, that joins the two hemispheres. The world does not need divisiveness to effectively lobotomize the world and keep the parts from acting together as a whole. What is needed is unity, balance, counterbalance, and interdependence.

Build a bridge. Exercise both sides of your brain. Find ways to bring people together.

I think good stuff might happen to your own brain in the process.

One day, a cranky, old donkey wandered up the road and into the village. About mid-way through, it decided it was tired, and sat down in the center of the road. Well, traffic came to a halt. The villagers tried to approach the donkey to persuade it to move, but it brayed loudly. Then it bit at people as they approached, and it kicked when someone tried to grab its tail. The people tried to move it, but it wouldn’t budge. Screams and yells did nothing to dissuade it. Rock and sticks just made the donkey more aggressive. The people were perplexed and soon ran in fear from the angry old donkey.

A crowd gathered at the low end of the village, and another gathered at the high end. Village councilmen discussed what to do next. The donkey sat in the sun, nibbling at some vegetables that had been dropped by fleeing merchants. As often happens in such situations, one of the elder councilmen took charge. He became their leader.

Morning gave way to afternoon and repeated attempts to move the donkey resulted in repeated failures. As the shadows grew longer, an old hermit made his way into town. He was following the road on a pilgrimage of enlightenment to the top of the mountain. Soon, he found himself in the midst of the crowd.

“Wise master!” cried the elder councilman come-leader. “Please, help us. Come see our problem, and share your wisdom with us.” The hermit shuffled forward at his invitation. “See that cantankerous old donkey in the middle of the road! He has cut our town in two and brought travel to a halt! We have tried to push the beast, to attack it, to move it out of the way, but nothing works. It nips at us, it brays, it kicks out with its hind legs! Wise master, what should we do?!?”

The hermit blinked at the councilman. He craned his neck to look around the man and up the road. He looked at the rather peaceful donkey, then back at the councilman. He blinked again. Then he shuffled around the crowd, up the next side street, past the place where the donkey sat, then made his way back onto the main road. He continued on his pilgrimage up the mountain, never once looking back.

The moral of the story: sometimes trying to move your ass for the sake of moving it won’t get you where you want to go.

The real moral: when you lose sight of where it is that you need to go, anything can bring your efforts to a halt. The way is always present; we just need to see it.

Uh-oh.

I asked him to elaborate. Specifically, he wanted to know why I don’t smile more. “If you don’t smile, then you aren’t happy.”

Of course, the instinct is to explain how his interpretation may not necessarily be my reality. He has to learn that not everyone expresses themselves the same way, that some people are more forthcoming with their emotions than others. I had the urge to validate my behavior: I’m tired a lot…I drive 100 miles to and from work each day…my story is sad…so on.

Isn’t that the way, though? Our ego kicks in, and we seek to justify our behavior before we truly listen? I resisted that urge, and I listened to my son. We talked. He told me how I can make him feel when I don’t look or sound or act happy. In fact, he went on, I sometimes seem precisely the opposite: UNhappy. So, it’s not just the absence of a smile but the presence of a scowl or a frown.

Wow. Did I feel like shit.

And then that urge resurfaced; the urge to explain to him why, to justify. But…why defend what I know is indefensible? After all, he is, in general terms, right. If you don’t smile, you aren’t happy. And I am his father. He doesn’t want excuses from me. He wants to look at me and know that I love him, that I love our family. I do. So, he should feel that. Let “The World” teach him other lessons when he is older. Right now, he is a child. His innocence is precious. It is a Gift. It is worth protecting. More than that, HIS happiness is worth nurturing.

The key here is to not bullshit the kid, though. He’ll see through it. In fact, it’s obvious that he sees through my facades today. Observant, empathetic little bugger. So, that means the key is really to let him see the happiness that I do have inside. Time to walk the talk and stop doing such a half-assed job of it.

In the end, it’s about not obscuring what is inside with cognitive noise. My wife, who is always looking for ways to inspire me, found a great Eckhart Tolle quote for me:

“Unless you know the basic mechanics behind the workings of the ego, you won’t recognize it, and it will trick you into identifying with it again and again. This means it takes you over, an imposter pretending to be you.”

The point is that we generate a lot of cognitive noise that can keep us from letting who we really are from coming to the surface. We use that noise to hide who we are, who we are striving to be. That’s a sad and tragic thing.

I got that quote this week; my son was courageous enough to talk to me today. No coincidence in that.

The message is clear: be more of who you are.

Let the inside out.

If you felt it, then you know what I am talking about.

Regardless, from this point forward, if you love America or, at minimum, have a vested interest in her continued survival as a nation, you should be praying/wishing/hoping for nothing but success for this new President. To wish for anything other than wisdom, compassion, and strength for the man means simply that you are not a friend to America. And that’s OK. It’s your prerogative.

But if you are a friend to America, if you love Her and everything She stands for, then your thoughts and prayers should be with President Barak Obama for the months and years to come. You don’t have to agree with everything he believes in. You don’t have to like all of his decisions. I may sound like an Obama zealot, but I am not. What I am is someone who does not want to see this country crumble. I am someone who wishes for peace, love, and compassion in this world. I may hold a different opinion than the President regarding certain matters, but I wish him nothing but success guiding this nation for the next four years.

As I recently told a friend at work, success is not about luck but about effort, effort and heart. LOTS of heart.

Good fortune to you, Mr. President. My future, the future of my children, and the futures of countless souls across this planet who now believe that…yes, they can…depends on your success.

We have this regular debate that goes something like this:

“See that guy who just fell down? That was his Destiny.”
“Or,” I retort, “he just made a bad choice walking on the icy sidewalk.”
“There is only Fate and Destiny.”
“We co-create our existence through the choices we make.”

Details might change, but the conversation is pretty much the same each time. It’s boring to the outside observer, I am sure. For every zinger he shoots my way, I’ve got a one-liner to fling back. He is a pretty good debater, but I am, too. So, neither of us gives. We’re not stubborn. We simply have an opinion, and the rationale of the other, while sound, is fundamentally unconvincing.

Why does this disagreement matter? In the end, it doesn’t. Some day, we’ll both be dead, and the argument will mean nothing to us. Another duo somewhere will undoubtedly have taken up the thread. In my life, what does matter is how I respond to the Universe. Therein lies the real choice that I think matters most. Some people swear by “The Secret” and the “Law of Attraction.” I don’t know how far I would take it, personally, but I believe that I have the power and the ability to, at minimum, heavily influence my future by the choices I make today. From what I wear to how I save for retirement to how I treat the driver of the car trying to merge into traffic in front of me, I believe that my choices shape my tomorrows.

Belief in choice works for me. I believe, given a chance, it can work for anyone. I am not saying that I have all the answers or that I can choose my way into millions of dollars at the drop of a hat. What I am saying is that I fundamentally believe in my ability to mold my future. If I fail to do so, it is precisely because I fail to do so. I fail to do so. I. I fail. By the choices I make. Even if I sabotage my own happiness, for example, I do it to myself. I meditate on this idea often, almost daily.

I offer this for consideration: what is the harm in opening yourself up to the belief that you can, at minimum, influence the shape of your future. Choose a new attitude. Choose to give others the benefit of the doubt. Choose to believe in yourself. Choose to believe that you deserve to be loved. Choose to give of yourself in a way that does not require you to expect anything in return. Choose to make a change that will alter the path you have taken. All these things around us that we fear disrupting will become disrupted at a moment’s notice, whether we choose or not. My friend the Buddhist Monk would say that Fate chose the victims of Hurricane Katrina. Whether he’s right or wrong, the end result was the same. To me, that’s some heavy stuff. Think about it for a while.

It’s easy to sit here and wax philosophical. It isn’t so easy to apply fanciful philosophy to your actual existence. Try it out; take a baby step. Choose one thing to change and believe in that choice. Have Faith.

Fate or choice: in the end, what difference does it make?