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Somebody stole some giftcards that someone was sending to me via interoffice mail.  When I got the envelope, it was unfastened.  When I saw who it was from, I immediately knew the envelope would be empty.  It was.  Two giftcards, gone.  Just like that.

This made me feel very sad.  I felt sad because I thought about the person who took them.  I thought about how this act was a reflection of their soul.  I thought about how it stripped them of a little bit of their dignity.  I thought about how it reinforced to them, on some level, that they are a worthless piece of human debris.  They don’t even qualify as trash.  They’re just debris.  They are a tiny particle of manure in a vast sea of humanity.  They are nothing.  They are not even worth the plastic they stole.

Of course, I don’t believe this; I think that this is, on some level, what they must think of themselves.  Our actions towards others are almost always a reflection of our own sense of self.  I cannot believe that their actions have given them any sense of satisfaction.  I do not believe that their actions have done anything other than made them feel just a little bit worse about themselves.  Sadly, the worse they feel about their lot in life and about their own sense of worth, the more likely they are to do precisely those things that will eat away at what remains of their self esteem. 

See, I don’t believe that they are worthless.  I don’t believe that they are “nothing.”  I don’t believe that they are debris, garbage, a waste of human flesh.  I know that they are a human being who experiences the same range of emotions I do.  I know that they are like the vast majority of humanity and wish only to have the freedom to live a fulfilling, happy life.  I know that they deserve all the rights and privileges that I have.  At out essence, we are the same.  Circumstance makes us different.  Circumstance took us down distinct paths.  Circumstance separates us, nothing more.

Whoever you are, I know that you stole those giftcards because you thought you were taking something away from someone.  This was meant to satisfy something inside of you.  You think that you did it to give something to yourself.  Unfortunately, it really didn’t inted for your actions to be an act of giving.  You did it to take away.  But you didn’t take anything away from me.  You took away something from yourself. 

That plastic wasn’t worth it, my friend.  There’s nothing in the world that those two $10 giftcards can buy you that can undo the damage you did to yourself.  I’ve got nothing but love for you, my brother or sister.  I hope that somehow you can feel that.  Nothing but compassion can make us whole.  You’re obviously walking a difficult path.  I wish you peace and love on your journey.

Stealing is more about you than it is about me.

Imagine a massive herd of slow-moving mammals somewhere on the plains of the Serengeti (see “Planet Earth” for visualization assistance).

Animals in herds move slowly.  They like to move slow.  Moving slowly makes sense.  It requires less energy.  It ensures longevity.  It ensures safety.  And safety feels good; it’s comfortable.  That’s how it works with animals in herds.

Ditto humans, particularly humans in herds.  Herd = slow = safety = comfort.

It is probable that things move slowly when large groups of humans are involved because the groups collectively want things to move slowly.  Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that some people want things to move slowly?  I suspect this is the case in the vast majority of cases.  Generally, a large portion of the group will want progress to be quick, but this smaller subset will seek to slow things down.  They will want things to move slowly because they are afraid of the outcome.  They will talk about failure, but failure isn’t the fear.  The fear, you see, is in success. 

 

Success means that you effected change.  If you effect change, then you are on the hook for what comes next.  If what comes next causes the ship to burst into flames, then…well…it’s your fault.  It’s your responsibility.  You and your damn change took the rest of us down. 

 

Or, even worse, you and your damn change lifted the rest of us up!  Now the expectations are higher!  Now they want more out of us!  Now…now how do we exceed expectations?  If we don’t improve maintain or even incrementally improve this consistent, dependable level of mediocrity, how will we be able to prove our value over time?  Why disturb the comfortable calm if even successful change puts everything at risk?  If we burn all the fuel on ascent, then isn’t descent the only option?

 

The answer is yes/no/maybe/probably.  The only way you can tell is to go for it.  Go for it with 100% commitment.  Whatever happens will be the launching pad for your next triumphant journey into orbit or your next fiery, explosive disaster in the clouds.

 

Regardless, when you’re up there, don’t forget to take pictures of the slow herd.  They’ll want to see what they are missing.

Back in the day (circa 2008), you could pretty much build a career on backing the right horse, becoming a subject matter expert, or even staying under the radar.  The slow and steady types could plug away and feel reasonably comfortable in the knowledge that their job, ergo career, was safe.

The problem is, “safe” was an illusion.  It always has been.  The illusion is now gone.

A great quote came my way the other day: as long as you are on somebody else’s paycheck, you’re on somebody else’s paycheck.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but as long as you’re on somebody else’s paycheck, somebody else, not you, will be calling the shots.  I think we all need to think about that long and hard for a while.  Think about it and fully unfold what that means to you.

Some people will be fine with that.  They’ll spend their lives making sure that they do what they have to in order to stay on the payroll.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It worked for my father for decades, and it has worked pretty well for me, too.  

Some people will not be fine with the knowledge that somebody else gets to ultimately call the shots.  They’ll spend their lives making sure that they do what they have to in order to make their own way in the world, that they get to call the shots.  The payroll becomes theirs to control.  There’s nothing wrong with that, either.  It has worked for a lot of the people that I know.  

What is important is that people think about what it means to be on somebody else’s payroll.  Think about it, understand what it means to you, then choose your path accordingly.  There are no “right” or “wrong” answers, at least not for me or anybody else to decide for you.  All that matters are the decisions that you make and how well you inform yourself before you make them.

I think a great place to start is deciding what it means to be on somebody else’s payroll.

Miracles happen to us every day. We just don’t always recognize them for what they are. We take so much for granted that we get totally thrown when things don’t go according to our plans. We overlook the miracles and fixate on what we didn’t get instead.

The Universe gives us precisely what we need when we need it. I think it can get that simple.

Who knows what constitutes a miracle and what constitutes a disaster. I suspect it comes down to whether or you believe lemons are for lemonade or not.

The messy business…it’s almost upon us.  So, what do we do?

Brace yourself.  That’s my first piece of advice.

Second, I would say that it’s probably a good idea to make peace with where you are, who you are, and where you think you are going.  If you’re good with all three of those, no amount of messiness can dislodge you.

Third, choose stillness.  The tempest is coming, and there will be people looking for a lifeline, a rock, a bright light on a distant coastline.  Anything.  They will be looking for anything.  If you are ready, you can be anything.

Fourth and final bit of advice, gather your circle of trust close.  Don’t push away.  Don’t withdraw.  Don’t go silent.  Don’t fade.  Draw people close, the ones you trust.  Draw them close and ride the full range of human emotion with them.  Together, you won’t fade; instead, you’ll reach the kind of critical mass that causes the birth of stars.  You’ll burn brightest with other fires by your side.

Or you can ignore me.  What do I know, anyway?  I’m just a guy.  You’ve never been overly impressed with me.  That’s cool.  You don’t need to listen to me.  Just don’t sit there, though, and pretend that nothing’s happening.  Ignoring reality won’t make any of it easier, I promise.

The only way to deal with a mess is to clean it (and yourself) up.

In summary, here’s the thread in my brain this week:

Slow down.  Don’t move too far too fast.  That means understanding your limits and pushing them within reason.  Too cautious?  Maybe.  Regardless, I’ll walk the razor’s edge, but I won’t necessarily dance on it.

No matter what you do, do it like you care about the end result.  If it involves someone else, do it like you care about the end result AND what they think about the end result.  Along the way, be kind to the bushes.  When everyone else is ruining the flowers, if you get the same thing done while respecting the things others disregard, you may just have found a way to differentiate yourself.  

Today, I was confronted by fear in the workplace.  My advice fit the thread for this week, ironically enough.  What more could I offer than to advise them to treat every day as a training opportunity.  Don’t stop training; don’t stop learning.  Build your body of knowledge.  If you are forced to leave one place of work, you will be that much more appealing somewhere else.  Seize the opportunity to figure out how to do the work well.  

Figure out how to make the right sandwiches at the right speed.  

Tonight, we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner.  Grapes, too.  And there was a spinach salad with almonds and carrots to start things out.  It was a good meal.  My sons made it.  My wife set them to task, walked out the door, and joined me outside as I toiled in the yard.

My boys went about their work.

When it was ready, they let us know.  We all sat down as a family, and we ate our sandwiches.  My oldest asked multiple times if the sandwich was satisfactory.  He had this sheepish grin on his face.  My little guy made the salads.  He was mildly interested in whether or not we liked our salad, but he was more interested in his PB&J.  

Before our meal, we thanked our boys for the wonderful dinner they made.  After, we thanked them again.  It was obvious my boys felt good about the meal they created.

Therein lies the life lesson: do your work…your unique work in your unique way, and be proud of it.

When I was in the yard, I spent half my time cleaning up the mess left behind by the workers who replaces my roof and siding.  They finished about two weeks ago.  We’re still finding nails, pins, and staples everywhere.  Scrap siding, too.  And shingles.  They tore up my flower beds, destroyed a dwarf Korean lilac, and damaged my vegetable garden.  It’s obvious to me that the men who came to work their butts off at my house cared little for the actual work they were doing.  No art in their work.  It was unconscious, mechanical work.  They got it done quickly, but some times speed isn’t everything.  I don’t think they put much pride into their task.

It shows.  Two weeks later, it shows.

I think intrinsic motivation is important.  I think being motivated to do the best work possible is important, too.  And I think having pride in the output of your work is really important.  I think my boys get that, at least as well as they can at their respective ages.  I will do my part to ensure they sustain that.  Perhaps some day, someone will be telling a story about the fantastic work my boys did and how their joy and obvious pride in what they do make them worth every penny.  And perhaps they’ll be talking about their wonderful peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

Do you ever set down a path then realize that you’ve gone too far too fast?  

Yeah…me, too.  Happened right now, as a matter of fact.

There’s a fine line between pushing yourself to your limit in an effort to extend that limit just a tad and pushing yourself somewhere you have no business being pushed.  It’s like lifting weights until it hurts, then doing it some more.  Like I read somewhere once, it’s those last few minutes when the burn is worse and the desire to quit greatest that muscle is actually built.  I’m not the guy who does that whole “burn” thing.  I guess I miss out on the greatest benefit.

But that’s not the point.  The point is that going far fast can be OK.  But you can also get yourself to a place that is just beyond your capabilities, even if just temporarily.  I remember climbing up a small shed when I was about 7 years old.  It was made of brick, and it seemed like a tower to the sky at the time.  The wall went straight up.  There was no easy way to go about getting to the top.  This would take balance, strong fingers, and all the right crevasses in all the right places.  A slip would have been painful.  I climbed anyway.  It was a tough climb, but I made it.  

Unfortunately, I made it.  

“Making it” meant I was at the top of this little building with no way down.  I failed to take into consideration that fact that the wall that went straight up also went straight down.  That final surge of strength I needed to hoist my legs over the top?  Yeah, not so easy to do in reverse while positioning my feet just so to ensure proper footing.  I was in trouble.

Too far too fast.

There was no way down.  My friends started laughing at me.  Then, the bell rang.  Recess was over.  Everyone ran back to the door to line up to get back into the building.  If I didn’t do something soon, I’d be left outside.  They’d lock the doors.  I’d be late.  Being late sucked.  I didn’t want to know what would happen to me.  I panicked.  Then I jumped.

You might survive going too far too fast, but it isn’t always pretty.  The alternative is to slow down a bit, regain your composure, recognize that you’re not ready to jump, and figure out a different way down.

The question: “What advice do you have for people who just check out?” 

The best answer: Die.  

Not German for “the,” but “die” as in “cease to exist.”

There are times when this seems to be the only option.  Perhaps it is more accurate to say that there are times when this seems to be the only option people allow for themselves.

The act of dying is complex.  It comes in many forms.  It is most often hidden from view.  Death in disguise…this is a very sad thing.  Sad yet…we see it so often, don’t we?  We know plenty of people who choose this path of death, who disguise their suicide.  They simply give up.

A man sat behind me the other day and asked another man at the front of the room, “What advice do you have for people who just check out?”  At a time of uncertainty, this is a question on the minds of many people.  The world of work is changing.  Conventional, 20th Century ideas of what it means to have a job and a career…well, these things are illusions that have been exposed for the heat-induced, delusional mirages that they are.  The world of work is changing, and we need to open our eyes to that reality.  

Cyclical?  Sure; there is a cycle of economic expansion and contraction.  But this cycle…it exposes the illusion, the lie.  This cycle drags the lie out of the shadows and into the light.  We can see it now.  Your choice, then, is simple: close your eyes to the lie until it can retreat back into the darkness or choose action based on your newly-acquired knowledge.

I like action.

Nobody will do more for you or your career in this or any other century than you will…or can.  Own your path.  It belongs to you.  When you hand the leash over to someone else, you wind up following them down a path of their choosing.  So, make that decision consciously.

But that’s not why I would give “die” as the answer to the question regarding those who check out.  No, for those who choose to check out, I say that you are choosing to die.  You see, checking out is the opposite of living, of choosing Life.  And the opposite of Life is Death.  Dying.  Die.

You see?  If you’re going to check out, then my advice to you is to do die.  Not literally, but close enough.  If you choose to just check out, to just show up, to just receive that paycheck, to just go through the motions like some sort of literal working stiff, a zombie, then you are giving in to the giving up.  If you’re going to do it, then commit.  Do it well.  Knock the cover off the ball.  Exceed. 

Lay. Down. And. Die.

Or don’t.  And if you don’t…then commit.  Do it well.  Knock the cover off the ball.  Exceed.

STAND. THE. FUCK. UP. AND. LIVE.

That’s what I think.