Category: Uncategorized

I found a 10-minute video from the geniuses who put out the excellent RSAnimate series of videos and figured I’d share it.  It’s called “The Empathic Civilisation.”  In the video, Jeremy Rifkin explores the evolution of empathy and how it has helped shape our society.  You can find it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7AWnfFRc7g  I think it’s worth the ten-minute investment.I keep coming back to what I consider one of life’s vital truths: our emotions are a source of great power.  I find building trust and seeking connection to be two of the key ways to tap into my emotions and the emotions of others.  They help bind people together.  People who are bound together can do great things together.Empathy in the workplace can only help build the kind of environment in which most people I know would love to work.  We all experience the same range of emotions.  As leaders, empathy is another vital skill we can develop to help get us where we need to be.That’s what I believe.

An engine’s on Fire. The cabin is filling with smoke. The pilot is wrestling with the controls but remains calm and confident. He’s fighting to keep the plane in the air.

You have a parachute. You strap it on as you assess the situation. The door is already open. You’re not the only one thinking about what the next logical step should be.

Engine on fire. Plane filled with smoke but stabile. Ground below, rushing past so fast your stomach flips just looking down. Parachute on your back. Open door.

What do you do?

Many times, we have to make hard choices. Some of the time, one action is just as risky and as scary as the alternative. Some of the time, Choice A is as undesireable as Choice B. If there’s a Choice C, it’s worse. This is the reality of life.

What’s important is the process of choosing. Lao Tzu taught that non-action is itself action. You can’t escape making choices. What you can do is assess and mitigate risk. You can weigh the impact each option might have on your future. You can figure out which path aligns best with your intended destination.

If the engine is on fire, you can stay in the plane and do what you can to help the pilot recover the aircraft. Maybe he puts it down in a field or in the water or on a lonely stretch of highway. Or maybe you jump, clear the aircraft, and pull the cord, hoping to put yourself down someplace safe. There is no right or wrong answer. Once the choice is made, the only option is to embrace the consequences and brace yourself for the next set of options, the next choice to be made.

I believe in making choices. Some of the time, I chicken out and take the passive path of non-action. Every time, the consequences fail to satisfy. Even if things “work out” there’s little satisfaction in the realization that I froze, that I chose to stay paralyzed. When I take the path of non-action I prefer that decision to be an active, conscious decision. Then, and only then, can the outcome truly satisfy.

The less often you choose to let the current take you where it will, the more often you will find that even the smallest, most seemingly insignificant choices bring pleasure. There is something to be said for being an active participant in your own life.

Derek Sivers is a musician. He loves making music, and he figured out a way to make a living making music. He played gigs all over the world; he primarily toured the US, but he found ways to play for people in different parts of the world. Life was good for Derek. During the late 1990’s, Derek got the brilliant idea of selling his CD’s online. He had a website, so all he needed to do was add a mechanism that allowed for people to place an order which he could then fulfill. Elementary today, not so much back in the day. “buy Now” buttons, e-shopping carts, online credit card processing…all of these things were novel back then. The short version is that Derek ploughed through the obstacles and put a system into place.

Something interesting and unexpected happened: a friend, also a musician, called Derek up and asked if Derek could sell his CD, too. Derek was happy enough to help his friend set up the same mechanism on his website, but the friend didn’t want to go through the hassle or incur the cost. He just wanted Derek to sell his CD…on Derek’s website. Derek agreed. Derek likes to help people. A few weeks later, another friend asked for the same favor. Derek agreed. Then another friend called. Then a complete stranger called. Then another called. Then another. And another. Derek agreed every time. He likes to help people. Derek’s living room became a small warehouse. Derek’s second “client” sent him an e-mail and asked, “How do I sign up for your ‘New Release’ newsletter?” Huh? “What do you mean?” he replied. “I don’t have a newsletter.” “Oh,” the gentleman replied, “I thought you had a store.” Hmm…

More interesting things happened to Derek as he went from one-man show to an 85-employee business called CDBaby.com. He eventually sold his business for $22 million. You can read about Derek’s story in “Anything You Want” which you can buy at Amazon.com.

Here’s what I think is the important part of Derek’s story: love what you do and love the people for whom you do it. If you can manage that, then you’re a step closer to Nirvana than the rest of us. I am far from that sacred place, but I see a path through the wilderness, and the path itself is a sliver of that Nirvana. Derek learned along his path that the journey itself is integral to maintaining presence in Nirvana. Derek lost that, and he sold his company when he understood that. He is back on the path, as I understand it, present, and loving the process.

No matter how you look at it, the path, Nirvana itself, is all about love.

I was ready for a totally different rant today.  Well, not a rant, really.  It was more like a minor tirade.

Anyway, out of the blue, somebody sent me a note letting me know that they’d stumbled across my blog.  I know the gentleman from work.  His note was short, but it’s impact was deep.  He said two simple things.

First, my voice is in my writing.  He said, “You have a real voice as a writer; I know it’s you.” As my friend Jeff and I often discuss, finding and using your voice, your one and true voice, is the most powerful tool any person can hope to find.

Second, he simply offered encouragement.  “I know you don’t need encouragement from me,” he said.  And he’s correct.  I don’t need encouragement, but it sure feels good!  I am human, and I am a human who craves connection.  I appreciate every word of encouragement that is offered.

So, that was it.  A short, simple note from someone who discovered my blog, heard my voice in my writing, and offered words of encouragement.

Words of encouragement…wonderful gift.  Thanks, George*.

 

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Stuff gets old.  It decays.  It crumbles.  It falls apart.  It gets dingy and dirty and worn.  No matter what you do, you can never restore what was.  Time passes, and everything ages beyond its prime.

I live in an old house that has been restored.  It looks great.  It looks modern.  An 80-year-old home brought into the 21st Century.

But I know the truth.  I’ve looked in the attic.  I’ve seen the hole underneath the kitchen sink, the cupboard under the stairs, the drain out behind the house.  You can replace this and replace that, but, fundamentally, at its core, the house is old…80 years old.  Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but some day, this house will be aged beyond prime.  

Ideas work the same way.  They get old.  They become outdated.  They grow irrelevant.  At their core, ideas become aged beyond prime.

I think a great skill to develop is recognizing ideas that have aged beyond prime.  I think institutionalized hatred would qualify.  Recreational rioting would be another.  Basically, anything that promotes doing harmful things to other human beings…those things qualify as aged beyond prime, in my opinion.  

Recognize ’em and dump ’em.  There’s too much good work to be done in the world.

Every path leads to some place.  At times, we are lead to breathtaking, epic vistas.  At times, we are lead simply to a dead end.  Regardless of how we categorize them, all paths end.  And every end is the destination.

 

Every choice has an outcome.  Some choices result in what we most desire.  Some choices result in what we most fear.  Most choices land us some place in between.  Regardless of how closely the outcome aligns with our desires, all choices result in something.

 

Choices are paths.  We string them together throughout the course of our lives.  There is only one true end, and that end is called death.  Every other choice, every other path, is at once an end and a beginning.  We get where we wanted to go, relish or wallow in the consequence, and lift our eyes to see that there is, indeed, another path to travel.  Even going back down the path you already traveled will eventually lead to paths and choices and some place where you have never been.  Besides, the moment we turn around the familiar is somehow unfamiliar; the path changes.  Time has passed, the weather has turned, a bird has landed on a guide post, the wind is blowing the leaves in a different direction. 

 

Things change.  Paths change.  You can’t undo the choices you’ve made.  You can only ever hope to keep moving forward.

 

Every path leads to some place.  It’s the path itself that is the destination. 

 

 

If you make your way to the small town of Egham, about 20 miles southeast of London, you will find nearby a meadow along the Thames River.  The site is known as Runnymede Meadow.  In July, 1957, the American Bar Association unveiled a small, domed memorial containing a pillar of English granite with the inscription, “To commemorate Magna Carta, symbol of Freedom Under Law.”  It is one of the most historically significant places you could hope to visit. 

On June 15, 1215, in Runnymede Meadow, a group of openly-rebellious barons forced King John of England to put his royal seal upon a document they drafted.  The document became known as Magna Carta and represented the first time that the subjects of an English King attempted to limit the powers of their sovereign through law and protect their rights.  Over 560 years later, Magna Carta would influence the swelling tide of independence that was gathering strength in the colonies of English America.

235 years ago today, a Declaration of Independence was made.  As I sit here writing, a few thousand miles away, friends and family are waking up and beginning their day, a day of celebration and rememberance.  It is not just the moment of declaration that we celebrate today but every single moment since that day.  And we celebrate every single life.

The net of human connections that spans the face of this planet grows more complex with each day.  Actually, the connections have always been there; it is our ability to see and interact with them that is changing.  When I stood in Runnymede Meadow, I listened, and what I heard was the wind moving leaves in the thick woods nearby.  I heard the sound of insects.  I heard the grass swaying gently.  I heard my sons playing in the distance.  I stood, and I listened.  I listened, and I heard. 

What I heard was the sound of freedom.  From Runnymede to Philadelphia and so many points beyond, we are all connected by our right and desire to be free.  May the desire to find freedom for every last man and woman on our planet never end.

I love Converse.  I always have.  I used to have a pair of Chuck’s when I was in high school.  They were high-tops, the kind that reach up nearly to the knees.  They were two-toned with a different color inside and out.  The tops of the shoes folded over, so that you could see both colors at the same time.  Mine were white with colored pinstripes on the inside.  I also had a pair of classic Chuck hightops that were bright yellow.  I loved my Chucks.

I had a jean jacket.  I used to draw on it with permanent marker.  I wore it with pride, fanged skull blazing on the back and everything.  It was my jacket.  It was a reflection of me.  I still have that jacket somewhere.  It’s in a box in a storage unit in central Illinois.  I loved that jacket.

For a very long time…decades, in fact…I believed that the image of the starving, half-crazed artist, wearing tattered clothes covered in paint, was the only true definition of an artist.  Since I was an illustrator, painter, and sculptor, that Jackson Pollock notion of what it meant to be an artist clashed with the college-bound young man that I was becoming.  Somewhere along the way, the images of the Ivy League sweater and college pennant supplant the images of canvas and brushes, sketch pad and pencil.

When I moved to creating art in the kitchen, the image of a “real chef” kept creeping into my head.  I never looked beyond being the amateur hobbyist.  When I tried my hand at business, the suit-n-tie, super-polished, Fortune 50 CEO image seemed to be the target.  Early to arrive and late to leave for the sake of appearances became more important than creating the right environment for the people around me to thrive and deliver their work. 

Always, there were people to reinforce the norms, the institutionally-approved ideas.  Always, there were people to gently nudge me in the direction of stereotype, of living cliche.  And always, I remained troubled.  Unsatisfied.  Unsettled.  Displaced within my own concept of self.  The person I was and the person I thought I would be happy being were in conflict.

I don’t want to wear leather shoes any more.  I don’t believe that animals have to die in order for me to fit the corporate image.  My current leather shoes are over four years old.  I used to think that I’d be satisfied with a pair of faux-leather imitations shoes.  They’d save a cow or two here and there, and I’d be able to still fit in, right?

Bullshit.

I am not the super-polished, business-speaking clone in a $400 suit.  I am the super-polished, articulate, intelligent, capable individual that I have always been, and I come dressed however I come dressed.  If the suit is your gig, wear it.  If it isn’t, don’t.  You shouldn’t have to.  The world is big enough for both of us.

I don’t want to run in circles that require me to be prettied up for a pageant.  I want to wear suits when I want to wear suits.  I want to focus more on creation, on building, on interesting problems, on invigorating projects.  If I am judge when I walk in the door because of how I look, I am OK with that.  Let my reputation and the power of my presence change minds.  I can deal with the fact that some people won’t get past their initial judgement, but with a planet filled with billions of people, I think I can find more than enough work to keep me busy for the rest of my life.

So, I am going to buy a new pair of shoes.  I love Converse.  I always have.  I used to have a pair of Chuck’s when I was in high school.  Maybe I’ll buy another pair of Chucks.  Maybe not.  Whatever I buy, though, I will wear with pride.  I will be comfortable in my own shoes.  Maybe you won’t be, but I will be.  The world is big enough for both of us, and, regardless of your opinion of my shoes, you and I…we can build something together.  We can change a life.  We can change a company.  We can change an industry.  We can change the world.

Chucks or Gucci?  Who cares.  Statement, not question.