Author: Ricardo

It’s easy to say that you’re “doing well” even if you aren’t.  Does everyone really want to hear your sob story when they ask you, “How are you today?”  It’s better (and easier) to just robotically respond, “I’m doing well, thanks.” But what if, for a little variety, you told the truth?  What if you responded in a genuine manner?  What would the other person do?

When I was a very young manager, I remember running into someone one morning and asking them, “How are you?”  Their response: “Shitty.”  I was stunned, so, I kept filling up my water bottle.  After a few seconds pause, he continued, “Why is it that when you tell someone how you really feel, they don’t give a crap?”  He walked away.  Still stunned, I walked back to my desk, not quite sure how to process the exchange that I’d just experienced. 

The next day, I went to the guy’s desk (we’ll call him Bill), and I said, “Bill, I am sorry that I didn’t respond to you yesterday when you told me that you were having a lousy day.”  He apologized for being grouchy, but I told him that I learned something from the interaction.  “I promise you,” I told him, “that I will always, always take the time to listen to the answer when I ask someone how they are doing.”  He sort of looked at me a little oddly, apologized again, and looked at me.  I thanked him for the lesson and let him go back to his work.

Bill’s lesson was one of the first I learned about being present with the moment.  He also taught me about the value in being genuine with others.  I wish I could say that I have not faltered in my promise to Bill.  I have.  However, I am always aware enough to notice it when it happens, and I have made it a practice to apologize to the right people and seek to repair whatever damage may have been done.

The real value in Bill’s lesson, though, has more to do with the positive things that can come from being present with others and giving them the attention they deserve.  I rarely, if ever, take a call when I am meeting one-on-one with someone else.  I am often asked, “Do you need to get that?”  I normally respond, “It’s OK.  I can call them back.”  99% of the time, that’s true.  This might seem like a small thing, but the little things are the things that make the real difference.  The details create the strongest associations.  In my experience, taking an extra second or two to look someone in the eyes and allow a true, inner smile to come to my face when asking, “How are you?” is a great way to invite someone into your day to share the experience of living.  I’m not saying that everyone stops dead in their tracks to engage, nor am I saying that everyone remembers.  What I am saying is that the invitation, the attention, and the time are often enough to give that other person the opportunity to bring a little positive energy into their day.  What a fantastic gift to give someone who might need just a little boost

I’m 40.5 now. I would say that I’m “40 and a half years old” if I were 10, but I’m not. So, it’s 40.5.

Half of my year at 40 is gone. Once it’s gone, of course, 40 will be gone forever. An old friend told me recently that there is something magical about 40. I get it. It’s a milestone, sure, but, like I shared with someone today, I look at 40 and think to myself, “Man, I’ve got such a long way to go.” Granted, other cosmic plans notwithstanding.

At 40.5, there is no other direction to head but forward.

I has a scary thought the other day: what if I have more things I want to do than I have hours in a day? What if…?

The truth, as it turns out, is that there are more things to do than there are hours allotted to each day for such tasks. Evidence follows.

There are at least 8 hours to dedicate to work most days. That leaves 16 hours.

Realistically, I sleep about 6 of those hours away. That leaves 10.

I drive for about 3 of them. That leaves 7.

I spend about 2 getting ready for work between the morning and the evening. That leaves 5.

Take away another hour and a half (very conservative) for slivers here and there that I didn’t account for. 3 or so left.

In those 3 hours I get to be husband, father, writer, artist, blogger, consumer, gardener, whatever. Sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? In reality, it’s not. There is seldom that much time, all at once, each and every day.

So, that’s the problem statement. What’s the solution? Any ideas?

Serendipity.  Happy accidents.  Coincidence.

I’m not the only one trying to tell you that you’ve got something special to contribute.  Blogger, author, entrepreneur, and all-around generous, kind soul, Seth Godin, thinks you do, too.

http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b31569e20167649a6505970b

Everyone has something exceptional hidden inside of them that they are just waiting to release. That means you, my friend. It’s in there. You know it. It knows you. You know each other. Only you can unlock it and free it. Only you can set it loose on the world. Do no harm, only good. Spread love. You’ve got the capacity…much more than you realize. It will shine through in whatever you unleash if your intention is pure and your heart is involved. Just let it out. Please. For all of our sakes. Just say, “Screw it!” and let loose. Let loose, my friend. You owe it to yourself, and, hey, I won’t mind benefitting from it myself.

Everyone has something exceptional hidden inside of them that they are just waiting to release. That means you, my friend. It’s in there. You know it. It knows you. You know each other. Only you can unlock it and free it. Only you can set it loose on the world. Do no harm, only good. Spread love. You’ve got the capacity…much more than you realize. It will shine through in whatever you unleash if your intention is pure and your heart is involved. Just let it out. Please. For all of our sakes. Just say, “Screw it!” and let loose. Let loose, my friend. You owe it to yourself, and, hey, I won’t mind benefitting from it myself.

I forget sometimes that internally-generated energy isn’t enough to fuel a whole lot of things.  When you shut off the connections to the outside world, the energy inside of you will diminish.  Alone, isolated for extensive periods of time, a human being does not accomplish much.  There are exceptions, I know, but the vast majority of human beings thrive when the connections to those around them are nurtured and nourished.

I heard a great quote this weekend.  I was watching an interview with Meryl Streep.  She quoted someone else, actually, but I can’t recall who it was.  This is what she said, “I believe a germ of each of us is inside the rest of us.”  I believe this wholeheartedly, and it is the best reminder I could have gotten.  Ironically, I just used the Buddhist metaphor of Indra’s Net last week at work to describe to a group of people the potential inherent in the building up of community.  Indra’s Net illustrates that we are connected to each other (the strands of the net) in a vast network that extends indefinitely.  At the intersection of any two strands is a perfect, multi-faceted jewel.  Inside the jewel, we can see the reflection of the strands of the net extending outwards and the sparkling image of every other jewel in the net.  When we move on to the next jewel, we have the same experience.  Repeat, ad infinitum. 

Indeed, the germ of all others lives inside of you…

Energy flows where we direct it.  It is most potent in our lives when we allow it to flow through us.  Our intention draws it in, our actions direct it back out, out into the Universe, the vast network of interconnected life.  The key here is the married concepts of intention and action.  It is not enough to intend an outcome for the Universe.  It is not enough to merely act out.  Intention alone yields unrealized potential because well-thought-out action does not occur.  Action alone, without positive, purposeful intention driving it, yields unintended consequences because the full ramifications of the action are not considered.  Intention must be clear, and action must follow intention.  This is the looping path of energy flowing through the individual and the Universe.

My voice has been silent, but I am back now.  It is time to open the flow again to see where it will lead us.  You are out there.  I am here.  Making the connection will be the challenge.  However, we can’t recognize the connection if the energy isn’t flowing.  When my intention meets yours, our actions will encourage the flow of energy. 

The energy flows precisely where we direct it.

I forget sometimes that internally-generated energy isn’t enough to fuel a whole lot of things.  When you shut off the connections to the outside world, the energy inside of you will diminish.  Alone, isolated for extensive periods of time, a human being does not accomplish much.  There are exceptions, I know, but the vast majority of human beings thrive when the connections to those around them are nurtured and nourished.

I heard a great quote this weekend.  I was watching an interview with Meryl Streep.  She quoted someone else, actually, but I can’t recall who it was.  This is what she said, “I believe a germ of each of us is inside the rest of us.”  I believe this wholeheartedly, and it is the best reminder I could have gotten.  Ironically, I just used the Buddhist metaphor of Indra’s Net last week at work to describe to a group of people the potential inherent in the building up of community.  Indra’s Net illustrates that we are connected to each other (the strands of the net) in a vast network that extends indefinitely.  At the intersection of any two strands is a perfect, multi-faceted jewel.  Inside the jewel, we can see the reflection of the strands of the net extending outwards and the sparkling image of every other jewel in the net.  When we move on to the next jewel, we have the same experience.  Repeat, ad infinitum. 

Indeed, the germ of all others lives inside of you…

Energy flows where we direct it.  It is most potent in our lives when we allow it to flow through us.  Our intention draws it in, our actions direct it back out, out into the Universe, the vast network of interconnected life.  The key here is the married concepts of intention and action.  It is not enough to intend an outcome for the Universe.  It is not enough to merely act out.  Intention alone yields unrealized potential because well-thought-out action does not occur.  Action alone, without positive, purposeful intention driving it, yields unintended consequences because the full ramifications of the action are not considered.  Intention must be clear, and action must follow intention.  This is the looping path of energy flowing through the individual and the Universe.

My voice has been silent, but I am back now.  It is time to open the flow again to see where it will lead us.  You are out there.  I am here.  Making the connection will be the challenge.  However, we can’t recognize the connection if the energy isn’t flowing.  When my intention meets yours, our actions will encourage the flow of energy. 

The energy flows precisely where we direct it.

You can probably predict the outcome of most interactions with other people based solely on patterns of behavior.  The weird thing is that we often still do the same old thing we’ve always done and are surprised when the outcome follows the pattern.  There’s a bit of stupidity in the mix, honestly, but there’s also a sort of denial or bit of ignorance feigned.  Again, we do the same thing and expect a different result.  Didn’t I once read this as the definition of insanity?  I’m quite certain I did.

Trust me, when it happens, I’m as surprised as the next guy.  

So, the only conclusion I have is that consciousness is once again required to save the day.  We must always remain conscious.  We must always fight to stay in the present moment and see every interaction as the bead on a string that it is.  One bead follows another, and the pattern is easily discernable.  We can predict what might come if we are conscious of what has passed, as well as what is.  In Buddhist philosophy, it is called dependent origination: any single thing arises from the things around it.  It is the acknowledgement of interdependence as the connection between past, present, and future.  

The patterns of behavior are most obvious and easiest to predict when the circumstances leading up to them are most clearly seen.  Clarity comes with present moment consciousness. 

My friend asked me to write a few words about love.  Now I’m stuck.

What are you supposed to write about love that hasn’t already been written?  People have been writing stuff down for thousands of years, and I bet the first thing that Grog wrote down with a charred piece of wood on the back of a flat stone was something really romantic for the cave-lady who stole his heart.  With that kind of history, how do you write something that hasn’t already been written?

SHAZAM.  That’s the crux of it.

Just like that, we’re on to something.  Not only have people been writing stuff for generations and generations, but really smart people have been writing things for pretty much the whole time writing has been a thing to do.  Tons and tons of writing, and tons of it is really, really good.

So, again, with all that writing already done, what have I got to writing that’s new or interesting or worth writing?  The answer I hear is “probably nothing”, and I assume that answer is correct.  We are all just hacks, anyway.  Even the brilliant writers today are just regurgitating stuff that’s already been gurgitated.  The guys I admire…Daniel Pink, Guy Kawasaki, Seth Godin, Stephen King, Orson Scott Card, Harry Turtledove…it’s a long list…they’re just mixing and remixing ideas and words that have come before.  They are like literary Taco Bell: same 7 or 8 ingredients mixed and mashed in different combinations and given pseudo-Mexican names.  Nothing new under the sun.

Then it occurred to me that perhaps this has occurred to those same guys before.  Maybe Mr. Pink has had that thought.  Maybe Mr. Godin has written about it.  Mr. King, Mr. Card, Mr. Kawasaki, and Mr. Turtledove…maybe they’ve all already had the thought and already dismissed it.

SHAZAM.  That’s the point.  They thought about it and dismissed it.

Are they frauds, hacks, posers, and peddlers of somebody else’s wares?  Not if they do what I know that they do, and that is put a little bit of themselves into the regurgitation.  By doing so, it becomes less regurgitation and more…well…their gurgitation.  After all, aren’t we all supposed to be learning from each other?  Aren’t we all supposed to be listening and taking in new ideas?  Aren’t we supposed to be formulating our system of beliefs, our own personal philosophies?  If we aren’t, then we’re just automatons, not autonomous.  I don’t like that view of the world.  I like the view where the mind and the soul and everything in between that I have been given continuously take the world in and spit it back out with a little piece of myself put into the mix.  As Seth once said, art isn’t the thing that’s produced but the act of overcoming resistance.  Art, he said, is in the soul of the artist.

I am here to create art, just like you are.  There may be precious little new under the sun, but I’ve still got something to say about it.

So, William, what is love?  I’ll tell you what I think…