Ricardo

The Opposite of Fear

Posted on July 20, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

A friend posed this question: “What is the opposite of fear?”

I had to think about that one for a bit. Then I came up with an answer.

The opposite of fear might be death.

Fear is built in. We can’t remove it. It’s in the fabric of life. Life and fear go hand in hand. If you remove fear, you remove life. Removing life is the definition of death. Death is the opposite of life, thus…death as the opposite of fear? I’m stretching the transitive property here, but you get my drift.

Fear doesn’t’ have to be all bad. Fear tells you things about yourself and about the world in which you live. Fear gives you reason to pause, and pausing helps us from diving into swimming pools with no water. Fear sharpens our senses thanks to jolts of adrenaline. Fear provides us with the context for risk. In other words, fear is a component of wisdom. Fear only becomes a problem when the individual allows it to paralyze them to the extent that they cannot participate fully in their own lives.

Maybe there is no opposite of fear. Fear simply is, and what it “is,” more than anything, is a subjective label we slap on to an emotional or cognitive state that can keep us from action. The absence of action is called “inaction.” Inaction, I am pretty sure, if a characteristic of death.

To recap, fear is part of life. Life is characterized by action, so fear is characterized by action. The absence of action is inaction. Inaction is a characteristic of death. Fear, though, is also characterized by inaction. So, fear is part of life, and fear is part of death. Fear is living, and fear is dying. But…as living and dying are verbs, they imply action. Action implies life. The opposite of life is death. I think we covered that already.

So, the answer is death. No fear equals no life. No life is death. The opposite of fear is death. If you are feeling fear, then you are still alive. Feel fear, but just don’t let it keep you from life.

A Matter of Perspective

Posted on July 17, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

Life simply is. Whether life is good or bad is a matter of opinion. It’s a matter of perspective.

A stone simply is. When the artist looks at the stone, they may choose to paint a realistic landscape with the stone at its center. A graphic designer may choose to create a stylized representation of the stone in just two colors. A poet may choose to create haiku about the stone. A journalist may choose to write a story about the significance of the stone within the context of some greater political issue. And when a sculptor looks at the stone, they see within it the hidden potential of the next Venus or David locked away inside. Regardless, the stone remains a stone. The physical properties of stone still apply. It may simply appear different. At its essence, it is still the same; it is still stone.

What makes the difference is what the individual brings to the stone. It’s about the perspective.

In the world we live in, we have to expect difficulty. We have to expect challenge. We have to expect adversity. All these are guaranteed. All those good times are guaranteed, too, but I find that people seldom lament their good fortune, their propensity for having such fantastic and transformative experiences. No, most of the time, when we obsess, we obsess over the moments that just don’t seem to go our way. Even then, with hindsight, we can often find benefit from the difficult times. Unfortunately, hindsight doesn’t help us in the moment. In the moment, we seem to be incapable of assessing our situation from just more than one perspective.

Applying multiple perspectives to life is about looking at life in the moment, from multiple emotional states, to help you understand yourself better. To see those positive perspectives at the moment of great adversity takes work. It takes deliberate and conscious effort to push through the fear and the anguish. It’s not easy, but doing so will help us find a resolution to the problem at hand more quickly. It clears the mind, and it opens us up to the creative possibilities. We are at our most powerful when we are applying our strengths to any situations and actively co-creating resolution. It beats the alternative: waiting for resolution to find us, then reverse-engineering a positive perspective.

Positive perspective in the moment is a tool we can learn to use not only for ourselves but for those we influence. Whether or not you lead formally is irrelevant. Every human being we interact with every day of our lives, once they come into contact with us, fall into our sphere of influence. We all lead by example. The power of positive influence, or the influence of positive thinking, is immeasurable. It’s as easy to benefit from it as it is to share the benefits with the world.

In the work that I do as a leader of people for a large organization, my perspective is often the best gift that I have to offer. My role is often that of coach and of supporter. People come to me often with issues, knowing that I will listen and offer them my unique perspective. People don’t normally come to me for my technical expertise or because I know the right people or because I hold the organizational hammer over them. I think people come to me because I will listen. If all I can offer is a positive perspective each and every day, then I’ve managed to achieve something meaningful. In many ways, I believe this gift of being present for others is the purpose of life.

The next time someone comes to you seeking your counsel or you find yourself in a moment of despair, gripped by fear, think first about positive perspective. Choose to find that perspective. Apply it. It can make all the difference in the world.

We are the painters, the graphic designers, the poets, and the sculptors of our lives. Life, in the end, is precisely what we make of it. Whether the moments in life are good or bad…that’s all a matter of perspective.

I Think Satan is a Creative Consultant at ABC Television

Posted on July 14, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

I’ll probably regret posting this, but…for Pete’s sake, what is WRONG with ABC Television?

Here’s how I know that Satan has a hand in the TV programming at ABC: I watched “Freefall” last night.

What’s “Freefall?” It’s a primetime gameshow. The contestant answers questions correctly, they get prizes. Simple premise. The hook? Their prizes are on a conveyor belt. As they attempt to answer 6 out of 10 questions correctly, the conveyor belt moves the 3 prizes along. The fourth object in line is a cash prize. The faster they answer the questions, the more likely the contestant is to score all 3 prizes PLUS the cash bonus. Like I said, simple premise.

So, what happens when the prizes pass by the contestant on the conveyor belt? Well, how about…THEY FALL OFF THE ROOF OF A MULTI-STORY BUILDING! That’s right, the CRASH…they EXPLODE…on the ground below. And when I say “prizes,” I’m talking about furniture, plasma TV’s, barbecue grills, exercise equipment…you name it, they got it.

Let’s recap this vital point: if the contestant fails to answer correctly in time, a washing machine might plummet to its destruction.

Notice, I’m not being flippant. I’m not trying to inject humor. This isn’t funny.

I cannot remember EVERY seeing something so reprehensible, so environmentally irresponsible, so socially…MESSED UP…wrapped up and delivered as “family television.” Seriously? Seriously?!? I mean, SERIOUSLY ABC?

You know, the Roman Empire fell in part because it decayed from the inside out. If there had been TV back then, I am sure ABC’s “Freefall” would have led the ratings.

I ask myself a few simple questions. Like:

– How much does this show cost?

– Where does this stuff come from?

– Where does the broken stuff go?

– Who thought that people should be shown that it’s OK to just break stuff, for no reason?

– Who thought “because I bought it” was a good reason to the previous question?

– Does anyone at ABC know where “away” is? You know, as in, “We’ll throw it away?”

I’m so angry right now. I don’t normally have these visceral reactions to TV. There was just something so WRONG with what I saw last night. My not-quite-10-year-old son would have been appalled. This show is a primetime show. Kids WILL watch it. What a horrible and sad example these adults have set. Is this what our society has come to? At least if my kids see some horrible act of violence on TV, I can explain it away as fiction, as special effects wizardry. This…this I can’t explain. I shouldn’t have to.

I’m not angry. I’m heartbroken.

The Role of Intention in Marketing Your Gifts

Posted on July 13, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

Jeff over at BuildingConfidentLeaders.com posted some thoughts about the importance of giving the gift of yourself to the world. You can find his original post by clicking here.

His words got me thinking about intention and the role it plays in how we communicate what we have to offer to the world. Understanding our intention allows us to understand our accomplishments. It just takes a little time to reflect on what you do daily and whether or not what you’ve done that day moves you towards your ultimate intention for life. The answer isn’t always pleasant, but it’s always constructive if you answer yourself honestly. And that honesty gives you the confidence to offer your gifts to others.

Inspired by Jeff’s words, I posted the following to his site:

I think the key idea to success is understanding your intention. To market what you do, you have to have a clear idea of what it is that you are trying to accomplish. Only with that clarity can you turn around and let others know how well you’ve achieved your objective. A person who can clearly demonstrate how they accomplish what they set out to do is a person who earns trust and credibility.

A braggart, on the other hand, is happy to promote any activity, regardless of whether or not what was done accomplished the actual objective. The connection between action and intention isn’t clear. If you’re promoting the expenditure of energy, especially nervous energy, then take a step back to figure out if you’re promoting value or busyness.

Marketing in an authenticate way affords us the opportunity to communicate to others the value we can bring in a manner that demonstrates the way in which we will do business.

Half-Consumed, Powdered Donuts

Posted on July 10, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

Some things are easy to consume in their entirety. Donuts, for example. I think donuts are easy to consume. I think a decent pizza is easy to consume. The little pseudo-articles that seem to make up the bulk of most magazines today…those are easy to consume. A bite here, a nibble there. Done. The world is filled with things that are consumed.

There’s a term we use around our house to describe things that initially appear easy but wind up not being so easy to consume: powdered donuts. I, for one, don’t have a problem with powdered donuts. We have this friend, though, who thinks powdered donuts are gross. Specifically, he hates the little powdered donuts that come in the box with the crinkly, clear plastic window on top. They look so good to him. When a box is opened, they smell so good. Everyone digs into them with gusto, sometimes devouring them in one bite. The people eating them seem to be having such a good time. They lick their lips clean of the white, powdery sugar that coats them.

Sometimes, he gets carried away in the frenzy, in the enjoyment. “Those little donuts look so good!” he thinks. So, he goes for it. He reaches in; takes a donut; pops it into his mouth. Then…then the realization sinks in: he hates these things. They taste like crap, at least to him. He spits it out. He wipes his tongue. He takes a swig of milk to erase the taste from his mouth. Those donuts should taste good to him, but they don’t. They should be easy to consume, but they aren’t.

Powdered donuts.

There are other things in life, more universal things, that should be easy to consume but aren’t. Unfortunately, a good many of those are things which could prove beneficial to us. They should be beneficial, but they aren’t. We don’t let them be. Today, I was reminded that, as far as I feel I have come in my journey of discovery, of connection to purpose, I still have some abandoned pathways to revisit. I know why they are there in the state they are in. They should have tasted good, but they didn’t. They should have been beneficial, but I sabotaged them. That’s OK; there’s a reason why I let them be. I wasn’t ready. Now I am.

Looks like it’s time to clear some half-consumed, powdered donuts off my plate.

Creaky Fingers and Scary E-mail

Posted on July 7, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

My fingers are creaking. Creaky fingers. It has been a while. Yes, it has…

I’ve been getting scary e-mail. Not the kind that makes you wonder what’s wrong with the world or that makes you think it’s wise to send your bank account information to some dude promising you millions of American dollars if you just claim your prize. I’m talking about the kind of scary that has you looking over your shoulder. The kind that gives you reason to hesitate before going out in broad daylight. The kind that settles in with you at night, under the bed.

What was that sound? Who’s watching me? What’s in my mind?

That, my friend, is the Universe. And you better be scared because when you make a tiny crack of a space for her to reveal herself to you and move on in, you’re done for. It’s over. Your hers. Or his. Or His. Whatever. You get the point.

That’s the kind of scared that starts these creaky fingers moving again. It’s the kind of scared where you set things in motion that may or may not lead anywhere, that may or may not open opportunities, that may or may not…lead to change. See what I’m talking about? S-C-A-R-Y. Scary.

The destination isn’t scary. What’s scary is the prospect of lifting oneself up from the big, comfy couch of life and shuffling feet out the door, on some new adventure, and not just down the hall to the potty.

Oh, how I have missed you creaky fingers and scary e-mail…

Transitions

Posted on June 25, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

Transitions are great. They mean that new things are on the horizon. They can also be challenging because…well…new things are on the horizon. “New” can be glitchy. I am trying something new: a different platform for my blog called Posterous (www.posterous.com). It’s a super-cool service that I hope will open the creative possibilities. I just need my old to merge with my new.

So, transitions, some time off, and the overall need to recharge have kept me away. But I’ll be getting back into full swing pretty soon with some new ideas, some new approaches, and a new commitment to “publishing.” It makes me smile to think about waiting until a new month begins, so I’ll be more or less silent until the first full week in July.

Out with the old, through the transition, and in with the new. Here’s hoping it all comes together!

Of MBA’s and Summer Classes

Posted on June 7, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

: odracir72; June 7th, 22:09

My wife and I got our MBA’s together. My wife graduated with honors. I missed it by one class. I think it was our second: Finance. At the time, I just had this…THING…with numbers. I knew I wasn’t going to get an “A,” so I didn’t. The funny thing is that I don’t think the grade I got in any other class had anything to do with what I got out of the class.

Several years prior, when I was still an undergrad, I was dating this really attractive, really cute, really interesting girl. She stayed at school all summer, so, naturally, I decided to stay back, too. I had an apartment, after all, and the lease I signed was for twelve months. Why not stay for the summer? I had a car. I had a crib. I had a lady. What else is there when you’re twenty one years old?

Let’s try money. Discretionary cash. Spending money. For the lady.

I got a job. I worked at Best Buy. I worked in the music department. When I was in middle school, I had a column in the school newspaper: Rockin’ Ricky’s Turntable Times. Seriously, that’s what I called it. I did music reviews. I wrote exactly two of them. The paper only came out twice the year I had the column. I used to save up my money all year long for our trips back to the US; we were living in Mexico at the time. I think all my friend knew that I would come home with a stack of LP’s and 45’s after every trip back, so I sort of became known as the music guy. I remember once in high school, when “She Drives Me Crazy” by Fine Young Cannibals came out, I stayed up until 2:00 in the morning just so I could record the song on some obscure radio show. Tony wanted it, so I went above and beyond to deliver. He didn’t ask; I just did it. I loved music THAT much. Working in the music department at Best Buy was a big deal to me.

To recap, I had a car, a crib, and a lady. I had a job listening to music at Best Buy. My parents were financing my living arrangements. Life was good. So as to not be a total mooch, I decided to show my parents that I was REALLY responsible and take a class during the summer. MY summer. I was THAT magnanimous.

That summer, I took a 200-level class that wound up changing my life. It turned out to be the most important business class I’ve ever taken, bar none. Well, there was a technology-related class that I took during my MBA in which I was able to convince the professor that seeing “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace” had to do with business and technology because the extensive use of computer graphics would change the movie industry forever. I was right. I should have demanded extra credit to off-set that “B” in Finance. Anyway, that summer I took a Psych class. Specifically, I took “Child Psychology and Development.” It changed my life forever. I still use the things I learned in that class and the list of other classes that I took as a result. The one Psych class introduced me to the Department of Human Development and Family Studies. I racked up enough hours in HDFS to get a minor…too bad they didn’t offer one. Regardless, those classes opened my eyes to fields of studies I’d never known existed. Those classes became the foundation for my adult outlook on life, the Universe, and all the stuff in between. That includes leadership.

Anyone who knows my wife shouldn’t be surprised that she graduated from our MBA program with honors. Anyone who knows me shouldn’t be surprised that I didn’t. The point of the story, though, isn’t to confirm what some people already know about my wife’s and my personality. One of the points of the story is that a grade isn’t going to tell you shit about what you’ve learned. I didn’t get an “A” in the Child Psych class, but I learned more in that summer session that I could have ever dreamed possible. The other point of the story is that you’ll never know how one simple choice, like the choice to hang out with that cute girl on campus that summer, might have lasting reverberations for the rest of your life. You see, not only did that class change my life, I married that cute girl.

Escape and Words from Kenny Rogers

Posted on June 4, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

: odracir72; June 4th, 23:22

You cannot escape who you are. No matter where you run or where you hide, even if you smash the mirror and refuse to see your reflection, you cannot escape who you are.

This is why leaving and never coming to terms with the cause will ultimately lead to repeated failures. Failure, after all, is never learning from mistakes of the past. If you remain purposely blind to the mistakes and do not embrace them, then you are not giving them the opportunity to teach their lessons.

So, if you can accept that running is not an option, that you are, indeed, who you are and not who you wish that you were, then you can begin to transform who you are into who you believe you can be. Circular? Not at all. Once again, we find ourselves confronted with choices.

The other day on TV, I heard Kenny Rogers say, “We are all three people: who I believe I am, who you believe I am, and who I really am.” Then he went on to say, “The closer together those three are, the more successful you will be.”

Amen, Kenny. Amen.

40 Years and Counting…

Posted on June 2, 2010 by Ricardo in Uncategorized

: odracir72; June 2nd, 21:23

This evening I shared space, air, food, drink, and a dream with a couple of people I’d never met. A dream they had over 40 years ago still lives today. I know because I am a benefactor of that dream. I know because I am living their dream.

Over 40 years ago, 7 families dreamed about opening a school in order to provide a different kind of education for their children. It was a crazy, crazy dream. They went for it anyway. They went for it, and they made it happen. Their did what they had to in order to translate dream into reality. And they were successful. Today, my kids attend that school. Tonight, we celebrated the organic evolution of that dream as the school opened a second building on campus.

“Tonight, I can see that the torch has been passed,” she said. She was a member of one of those 7 founding families. There were others present from that original group. What a legacy. Imagine being able to pass a torch over 40 years from now. Just imagine.

The difference between those 7 families and the majority of us is that they had the courage to do more than just imagine. They had the courage to pursue that crazy dream. How many times have you dreamed an impossible dream only to brush it off? Impossible dreams are just that: impossible. They are flights of fancy. They are childish. They are irresponsible. They are pointless. Impossible dreams…why bother?

Bother…because 40 years from now hundreds of kids could benefit from your dream. Hundreds of lives could be changed for the better. Changed? How about transformed? How about elevated beyond what they could have only dreamed of prior to you and your dream? Or maybe the mere fact that you had the courage to try might be enough to inspire another generation of dreamers…

Now, go. Start. Light that torch. It’s not too late. I don’t care how old you are. 40 years from now, something you ignited could be burning brightly…