Author: Ricardo

It is very easy to get caught up in the mile markers along the road.  There’s no doubt about that.  It’s hard, though, to remember that there’s an on-going journey that doesn’t end.  Well, maybe it ends when you take the proverbial dirt nap.  Then again, maybe it doesn’t.  I’m not going to argue that point either way.  What I will argue is that the whole journey thing just doesn’t end.  Sorry.  I don’t mean to exhaust you.  You’re just going to be in a state of constant movement down a particularly path for the rest of your life.

Rather than create a sense of despair, futility, and loss of control, I think there is something comforting in knowing that movement will be a constant throughout my life.  I won’t ever get bored because things will always be changing.  I won’t have to worry about not having something new to see or do.  Every day I wake up, there’s something unexpected in store.  I like that idea.  The Universe is swirling around me, and that suits me just fine.

Stagnation is a state of mind, at least in the way I am using it.  Stagnation is the very conscious decision to ignore the ebb and flow of the Universe and generate the illusion of time standing still.  It takes energy and force of will to block out the generous, life-giving flow of Everything, and expending that energy will drain you.  The feeling of being drain will increase the desire for the illusion, and the illusion will demand energy.  Soon, the illusion and the demand for energy take their toll on the individual…that would be you and me and some other people you know…and the individual is left with plenty of reasons to rage against the injustices of a stagnant Universe.

Of course, that’s a lie.  The Universe moves.  We have to appreciate the movement and recognize it as the very nature of our existence.  We can glide gracefully with the flow if we so choose.  When we so choose, we can open our eyes and remember that life is one continuous journey and that the milestones and gates are artificial constructs of a mind rooted in the world of form.  

Choose to look beyond the mirage and remember the journey is everything.  Everything and a bag of chips.

If it so pleases the court, I offer into exhibit the following:

– that distraction is the enemy of us all
– that distraction has been deliberately usurped by the enemy of all acts of creation and works of art
– that distraction has a new meaning that implies you deserve to allow yourself to succumb to it
– that distraction is a form of respite from an otherwise troubling life
– that distraction would lead you to believe that you are incapable of finding your own antidote to the whirlwind of modern life
– that distraction must be exposed for the insidious, withering evil that it is
– that your spirit needs liberation of the heart and focus of the Higher Self to find true replenishment
– that your spirit longs for opportunities to concentrate your mental faculties on what is good in your life, not the distractions of what you COULD have if you were skinnier, more muscular, smarter, or the owner of a snazzy hot rod
– and that distraction sucks energy from your moments and us in reality the antithesis of what a weary spirit craves: relaxation

It is my belief that relaxation is the state of present, centered being wherein all distraction has been banished. It is tranquility and stillness; quiet and calm; light and love.

Don’t allow yourself to be fooled into believing that anything you can buy or that can be bought for you will give you that state of being. It isn’t something that can come from outside yourself, in my experience. A gift you are not ready to receive isn’t worth nearly as much as we would want to believe, so don’t put the accountability for your happiness into the hands of another. Worse, do not abdicate ownership to forces outside and beyond your control.

Instead, recognize that the relaxation for which you are longing starts with you. It lives inside of you, and you must claim it from within before you can allow itself to manifest externally. Only then will you be able to truly enjoy the release and return to balance you deserve.

Sometimes a glass of wine helps. I’m just saying.

Every now and then, I find myself jumping through hoops and being grateful that the Universe is putting hoops in my path through which jumping is necessary.  They provide a sort of gating system that slows down the pace, giving you an opportunity to think about what you are doing.  The rewards and the risks aren’t always evident, particularly when life is rushing by at a frightening speed.  The hoops give you the pause to contemplate them.

Of course, all the thinking just makes you want to vomit on your shoes with anxiety.  While vomiting serves a biological purpose, suppressing the gag reflex is a pretty good skill to acquire and practice.  I find that I perform best and am most credible as an individual and decision-maker when I am able to control the flow of fluids out of my body.  That is not to say that there is not an appropriate time and place for said flow or that individuals who succumb to such flow are somehow not as worthy of all of life’s bounties as I am.  No, all I am trying to say is that I prefer to avoid vomiting in public.

But that’s not the point.  The point is that I have fallen victim to the desire to get from here to there are quickly as possible.  I am as guilty as the next person of wanting to be done with the torture of waiting.  However, I like to remain chill under most circumstances, and when I lose that chill factor, I tend to regret it.  The Universe knows this, so it caters to me.  Well, not exactly caters.  That would imply that the Universe revolves around me, which, incidentally, I have been told on more than one occasion it does not.  I get that.  All I’m saying is that the Universe gets that I am best when chilled, so I uncannily find myself in the position to be chill when I need it most.  And right now, I need to be chill.  Like a good bottle of red wine, I am best enjoyed when slightly lower than room temperature.

Jumping through hoops isn’t always a bad thing.  In fact, there are times when it’s exactly what you need to keep yourself sane.  And chill.

The man on the TV said, “I’ve worked hard to get where I am today.  I’ve paid my dues.  I have a nice family, a beautiful wife, a good job.  I just want to coast now.  I’ve earned my spot.  Now it’s time to keep things steady.”

He couldn’t have been older than 32 years old.

Maybe my problem is that I don’t have a vision for what it’s like to “make it.”  I guess it’s probably a pretty good feeling to get there, to feel like you’ve accomplished what you set out to do for your life.  I’m thinking that the man on the TV had every reason to feel completely satisfied and content.

The only problem is that his wife didn’t feel the same way.  She didn’t marry this complacent guy.  She didn’t marry a guy who just wanted to coast through life.  She married a guy that was interested in her as a person.  She married a guy who had ideas and dreams.  She married a guy who wanted to build a life with her.  This new guy…she isn’t digging his disinterested, coasting self.

I have a hard time believing that the thought of coasting for 50 or 60 years is really appealing to anyone.  No, I think that accomplishing a monumental life goal is terrifying.  Notice I said “accomplishing,” as in “I have now accomplished,” or, “I am accomplishing as we speak.”  I didn’t say “the path to accomplishing” or “undertaking our life’s work” is terrifying.  I think that the act of finishing something that you started is terrifying because it begs the question, “What next?”

Complacency is a symptom of fear.  Coasting is a symptom of fear.  Even contentment is mostly a symptom of fear.  When we are afraid, we freeze; we’re talking roverbial “deer in the headlights” action.  We do this because moving is risky.  Getting past the current accomplishment entails wide open territory, a new beginning to a new tale, the start of a new chapter.  And the hardest part of starting all over again is facing the fear of not making it to the destination this time around.  So, the only viable option is to just stand still.

Or coast.  

The man on the TV wants to coast.  His wife doesn’t.  Neither do I.

Somebody stole some giftcards that someone was sending to me via interoffice mail.  When I got the envelope, it was unfastened.  When I saw who it was from, I immediately knew the envelope would be empty.  It was.  Two giftcards, gone.  Just like that.

This made me feel very sad.  I felt sad because I thought about the person who took them.  I thought about how this act was a reflection of their soul.  I thought about how it stripped them of a little bit of their dignity.  I thought about how it reinforced to them, on some level, that they are a worthless piece of human debris.  They don’t even qualify as trash.  They’re just debris.  They are a tiny particle of manure in a vast sea of humanity.  They are nothing.  They are not even worth the plastic they stole.

Of course, I don’t believe this; I think that this is, on some level, what they must think of themselves.  Our actions towards others are almost always a reflection of our own sense of self.  I cannot believe that their actions have given them any sense of satisfaction.  I do not believe that their actions have done anything other than made them feel just a little bit worse about themselves.  Sadly, the worse they feel about their lot in life and about their own sense of worth, the more likely they are to do precisely those things that will eat away at what remains of their self esteem. 

See, I don’t believe that they are worthless.  I don’t believe that they are “nothing.”  I don’t believe that they are debris, garbage, a waste of human flesh.  I know that they are a human being who experiences the same range of emotions I do.  I know that they are like the vast majority of humanity and wish only to have the freedom to live a fulfilling, happy life.  I know that they deserve all the rights and privileges that I have.  At out essence, we are the same.  Circumstance makes us different.  Circumstance took us down distinct paths.  Circumstance separates us, nothing more.

Whoever you are, I know that you stole those giftcards because you thought you were taking something away from someone.  This was meant to satisfy something inside of you.  You think that you did it to give something to yourself.  Unfortunately, it really didn’t inted for your actions to be an act of giving.  You did it to take away.  But you didn’t take anything away from me.  You took away something from yourself. 

That plastic wasn’t worth it, my friend.  There’s nothing in the world that those two $10 giftcards can buy you that can undo the damage you did to yourself.  I’ve got nothing but love for you, my brother or sister.  I hope that somehow you can feel that.  Nothing but compassion can make us whole.  You’re obviously walking a difficult path.  I wish you peace and love on your journey.

Stealing is more about you than it is about me.

Imagine a massive herd of slow-moving mammals somewhere on the plains of the Serengeti (see “Planet Earth” for visualization assistance).

Animals in herds move slowly.  They like to move slow.  Moving slowly makes sense.  It requires less energy.  It ensures longevity.  It ensures safety.  And safety feels good; it’s comfortable.  That’s how it works with animals in herds.

Ditto humans, particularly humans in herds.  Herd = slow = safety = comfort.

It is probable that things move slowly when large groups of humans are involved because the groups collectively want things to move slowly.  Or perhaps it is more accurate to say that some people want things to move slowly?  I suspect this is the case in the vast majority of cases.  Generally, a large portion of the group will want progress to be quick, but this smaller subset will seek to slow things down.  They will want things to move slowly because they are afraid of the outcome.  They will talk about failure, but failure isn’t the fear.  The fear, you see, is in success. 

Success means that you effected change.  If you effect change, then you are on the hook for what comes next.  If what comes next causes the ship to burst into flames, then…well…it’s your fault.  It’s your responsibility.  You and your damn change took the rest of us down. 

Or, even worse, you and your damn change lifted the rest of us up!  Now the expectations are higher!  Now they want more out of us!  Now…now how do we exceed expectations?  If we don’t improve maintain or even incrementally improve this consistent, dependable level of mediocrity, how will we be able to prove our value over time?  Why disturb the comfortable calm if even successful change puts everything at risk?  If we burn all the fuel on ascent, then isn’t descent the only option?

The answer is yes/no/maybe/probably.  The only way you can tell is to go for it.  Go for it with 100% commitment.  Whatever happens will be the launching pad for your next triumphant journey into orbit or your next fiery, explosive disaster in the clouds.

Regardless, when you’re up there, don’t forget to take pictures of the slow herd.  They’ll want to see what they are missing.

Back in the day (circa 2008), you could pretty much build a career on backing the right horse, becoming a subject matter expert, or even staying under the radar.  The slow and steady types could plug away and feel reasonably comfortable in the knowledge that their job, ergo career, was safe.

The problem is, “safe” was an illusion.  It always has been.  The illusion is now gone.

A great quote came my way the other day: as long as you are on somebody else’s paycheck, you’re on somebody else’s paycheck.  That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but as long as you’re on somebody else’s paycheck, somebody else, not you, will be calling the shots.  I think we all need to think about that long and hard for a while.  Think about it and fully unfold what that means to you.

Some people will be fine with that.  They’ll spend their lives making sure that they do what they have to in order to stay on the payroll.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  It worked for my father for decades, and it has worked pretty well for me, too.  

Some people will not be fine with the knowledge that somebody else gets to ultimately call the shots.  They’ll spend their lives making sure that they do what they have to in order to make their own way in the world, that they get to call the shots.  The payroll becomes theirs to control.  There’s nothing wrong with that, either.  It has worked for a lot of the people that I know.  

What is important is that people think about what it means to be on somebody else’s payroll.  Think about it, understand what it means to you, then choose your path accordingly.  There are no “right” or “wrong” answers, at least not for me or anybody else to decide for you.  All that matters are the decisions that you make and how well you inform yourself before you make them.

I think a great place to start is deciding what it means to be on somebody else’s payroll.

Miracles happen to us every day. We just don’t always recognize them for what they are. We take so much for granted that we get totally thrown when things don’t go according to our plans. We overlook the miracles and fixate on what we didn’t get instead.

The Universe gives us precisely what we need when we need it. I think it can get that simple.

Who knows what constitutes a miracle and what constitutes a disaster. I suspect it comes down to whether or you believe lemons are for lemonade or not.

The messy business…it’s almost upon us.  So, what do we do?

Brace yourself.  That’s my first piece of advice.

Second, I would say that it’s probably a good idea to make peace with where you are, who you are, and where you think you are going.  If you’re good with all three of those, no amount of messiness can dislodge you.

Third, choose stillness.  The tempest is coming, and there will be people looking for a lifeline, a rock, a bright light on a distant coastline.  Anything.  They will be looking for anything.  If you are ready, you can be anything.

Fourth and final bit of advice, gather your circle of trust close.  Don’t push away.  Don’t withdraw.  Don’t go silent.  Don’t fade.  Draw people close, the ones you trust.  Draw them close and ride the full range of human emotion with them.  Together, you won’t fade; instead, you’ll reach the kind of critical mass that causes the birth of stars.  You’ll burn brightest with other fires by your side.

Or you can ignore me.  What do I know, anyway?  I’m just a guy.  You’ve never been overly impressed with me.  That’s cool.  You don’t need to listen to me.  Just don’t sit there, though, and pretend that nothing’s happening.  Ignoring reality won’t make any of it easier, I promise.

The only way to deal with a mess is to clean it (and yourself) up.

In summary, here’s the thread in my brain this week:

Slow down.  Don’t move too far too fast.  That means understanding your limits and pushing them within reason.  Too cautious?  Maybe.  Regardless, I’ll walk the razor’s edge, but I won’t necessarily dance on it.

No matter what you do, do it like you care about the end result.  If it involves someone else, do it like you care about the end result AND what they think about the end result.  Along the way, be kind to the bushes.  When everyone else is ruining the flowers, if you get the same thing done while respecting the things others disregard, you may just have found a way to differentiate yourself.  

Today, I was confronted by fear in the workplace.  My advice fit the thread for this week, ironically enough.  What more could I offer than to advise them to treat every day as a training opportunity.  Don’t stop training; don’t stop learning.  Build your body of knowledge.  If you are forced to leave one place of work, you will be that much more appealing somewhere else.  Seize the opportunity to figure out how to do the work well.  

Figure out how to make the right sandwiches at the right speed.