I took my wife and two sons to a corn maze this weekend. If you live in the Midwest, it’s a thing. We do it every year. We wander through the maze, collecting “punches” on our map along the way. It’s not enough to just discover the maze; there’s a higher goal of finding each of the stations with a specifically-shaped hole punch along the way. Where we go, there are three levels of difficulty. This year, we chose the most difficult path. On this path, the locations of the stations are not marked, so gathering each hole punch is a true challenge. Corn stalks are tall. At 6’2’’, I feel like a shorty next to the rows and rows of corn stalks. This year was the first year we braved the “expert” path.
Over the years, I’ve tried to teach my boys how to use a map to navigate the maze. Corn maze maps are not like conventional road maps. Intersections aren’t clearly marked. Milestones (stations) and landmarks (bridges and climbing platforms) are represented at their approximate locations on the map. The paths themselves are kinda-sorta like the picture on the map; what was designed on paper does not translate 100% to the actual paths cut through the rows of corn. In many ways, learning to navigate a corn maze is a lot like learning to accomplish goals in life: what we have is a direction, not necessarily infallible directions.
A couple of hours before we left for the corn maze, my 17-year-old son clicked the virtual “submit” button on his very first college application. There are several more to complete, but the first one is done. It was a major milestone in his life. Through much of the process of completing the application and writing the necessary essays to go with it, he has relied on several people to act as guides, to help and nudge and offer advice. In the end, though, he has lead us in the direction of his goal. No directions from us, just direction from him. Getting to the first milestone, that first submitted application, was a major moment in his life.
A few hours later, for the first time ever, he took the map in his hands, and lead my wife, my youngest, and me through the corn maze. It wasn’t our smoothest excursion to date, but it was another major moment in his life…and in mine.
Nothing subtle here: my oldest son is taking the reins. He is assuming the leadership role in his life. It’s amazing to witness, and I could not be more proud of him. I’ve written about my boys and my family many times in the past. Being a parent has taught me more lessons about myself and my life than just about anything else I can think of. Once again, one of my sons provided opportunity for me to pause and reflect. Life piles on experiences, often in clusters seemingly designed for teaching. I don’t know how or why things work this way. Perhaps it is as much a function of my expectations and interpretation. Perhaps there is something bigger at work.
Either way, this weekend, between a college application and a corn maze, I was reminded of the importance of not relying on maps provided by others and of assuming the leadership role in your life.
We wind up where we choose to go.
Illuminate Possibilities 