I remain convinced that learning to navigate transitions is one of the most important skills that we can learn. And it’s one of the most important skills that we can teach.
What good is learning if we use it only for ourselves? What is the value in experimenting and risking and observing the world around us if we are not sharing the continued sum of our many and varied experiences? There isn’t a person on the planet who cannot at once be both student and teacher. I approach every interaction, every relationship that I establish, be it short or long-term, as an opportunity to both teach and learn. Not every one unfolds equitably, but I can guarantee you that a day doesn’t pass during which I either learn or teach. More often than not, we can easily do both!
In transition, we learn things about ourselves and the world in which we operate. For years now, we hear talk about change and how change is constant. I’ve come to the conclusion that this thought process puts the focus on the wrong things.
First, change is not constant. Change is guaranteed. Change is inevitable. Change is a regular part of this healthy, balanced, functional universe in which we live. But change is not constant. Change is an event. It represents a moment in time. It is the marker that represents when something shifted from one state to another. That is change. In most cases, it is nearly instantaneous. It is the thing that happens that sparks the need to adapt ourselves to whatever is new in our lives. Changes will never stop coming. They’ve always occurred. The idea that change is constant is more a reflection of how we feel about change versus the actual rate of change.
Second, change is not, in and of itself, good or bad. Change is neutral. Change simply is. How we react to that change is cause for judgment. Our reaction is the thing to which we hang our emotion-based thinking. Reaction judges whether change is good or bad. It provides the filter and the context by which we evaluate the merits of a moment of change. Good or bad…these things come from our minds, from our judgment. They are not things inherent in the nature of the change itself. The idea that change can be positive or negative comes very much from the mind of the observer.
Finally, change is not the hard part. The hard part is the transition that comes from change. After the change has occurred, after the moment has past, after the catalyst has kicked off the reaction, the impact of the change is felt in the universe. Whether it be large or small, the impact is the part of the equation that elicits the response in the observer and the other elements of the environment that have been affected. For human beings, it is this period after, this period of transition, that causes the emotional response we use to judge whether the change was positive or negative. The idea that change is hard is far less relevant than how we navigate and manage the period of transition.
The gift of change is not the change itself but the transition. From transition, new things are born. From transition, we learn. We may find great challenges or hardships during transition, but, once endured, transitions can often be the source of great things and new opportunities. There are transitions, of course, that lead to heartache, struggle, and even death. I don’t seek to minimize the suffering of others or unexpected and tragic outcomes. However, change is viewed so negatively in our society because there is such fear of transition. This is why I believe developing the skill to navigate and manage transition is so important. It is important for the individual. It is important for good health. It is important to happiness. Once the transition is managed and the lessons learned, it is important to teach and to share so that others might benefit and struggle less.
Do not fear change. Do not fear transition. Instead, fear never learning enough in your own transitions to help yourself and teach others.
Illuminate Possibilities 