Watershed Redux

1 a : divide 2a b : a region or area bounded peripherally by a divide and draining ultimately to a particular watercourse or body of water

2 : a crucial dividing point, line, or factor : turning point

Perhaps I am being melodramatic, but I feel like this is a watershed moment. A moment when I am making a qualitative decision for my life. Maybe, in the grand scheme of Everything Else, my little moment is insignificant. Maybe it is not.

When I was a kid, my parents used to tell me to stick up for myself. They told me and my brothers that we should always stick up for one another. They called us “The Three Musketeers. I think we all hear such lessons from our parents. I remember my father telling me once when I was a teenager that you have to stand up for the things you believe in. I guess my father could have been the Greatest Yes-Man Who Ever Lived. I guess he could have been the guy who always asked, “How high?!?” when asked to jump. I guess he could have been the one who always offered to get his boss a cup of coffee in a room filled with coffee cups. I guess it’s possible, but I doubt it. Do you know why? Because when my father told me it was important to stand up for yourself, I believed him. I have kids now, so I know how well they see through all my BS. That day, my father believed in what he was telling me, and I believed him.

So, I imagined my children and my wife watching me. I imagined myself with my sons, at some pivotal childhood moment, telling them that you have to stand up for what you believe in or else you’ll eventually forget to believe in anything. I imagined myself telling them that you have to choose your battles and that you’ll know when the time is right to take a stand. I imagined them, in that moment, looking into my eyes, seeking truth.

I am preparing for that moment. I want them to see truth in my eyes. I want my wife to listen in on that conversation and know, in her heart, that the man she married is the man he claims to be.

I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it. One qualitative decision at a time.

This close to 40, I have to say that words of affirmation from my parents are still a powerful salve for just about any wound.