Is There a Judge in the House?

Fear of judgment erodes self-confidence and, worse yet, inhibits a person’s ability to perform the tasks in front of them.

If I wanted judgment passed on me, I’d commit a crime, try to hide it, turn myself in, then let the judicial system do its thing.  I wouldn’t wake up every morning at 4:30 AM and drive in to work.  I think most people would concur.

There is a time and a place for evaluations.  Evaluations of the work we do, the way we do it, the results we get, the mistakes we make, and the wisdom of our decisions all have their place in business.  Most of us are, after all, employees accountable to other people, and, as such, accept that others will evaluate our performance on behalf of the corporation.  That’s how we roll.  That’s how most companies roll.

I don’t mean to over generalize, but I think it is safe to say that a common source of conflict and struggle comes in when the evaluation turns into judgment.  It gets stickier when the judgment creeps outside the scope of performance.  It gets downright ugly when judgment is based more on conjecture than on fact.  Yet…how often do we fall into the trap of passing judgment on others by the “water cooler” based on our own subjective observations?  How often do these judgments begin to affect work relationships and work results?  If these kinds of judgments exist on a casual, peer-to-peer level, is it unreasonable to assume that leaders may be influenced by them, too? 

If your objective is to torpedo others, then, by all means, make the water cooler talk all about judgment based on personal bias.  My years of experience as a leader have lead me to the conclusion, however, that 99 % of the people who work where I work want to do the best work they can.  They want to succeed.  They want their teams to succeed.  They want their…dare I say it?…peers to succeed.  They want this COMPANY to succeed.  I have no evidence that there are people who wake up each morning eager to sabotage The Company. 

So, I will run on the assumption that few people are deliberately orchestrating torpedo attacks or SCUD launches.  What we intend, though, and what we do…well, those two things aren’t always in synch.  That’s sort of a human problem, this inability to be perfectly aligned between thoughts and deeds.  If we can accept that, then we can forgive others their trespasses.  If we can accept that, we can forgive ourselves for our own indiscretions.  If we can accept that, we can ask for forgiveness…but only after we own our actions and live with the consequences.

Passing judgment is not an act of kindness.  It is not an act of compassion.  It serves no one but us.  We pass judgment to seek validation of our own opinions, our own thoughts.  We pass judgment to quell our own fears.  We pass judgment to make ourselves feel better about something.  We pass judgment to make ourselves feel better about…ourselves.  When I feel the urge to judge, I remind myself that the closest relative to judgment is resentment.  I ask myself, “Why do you resent that person’s actions?”  The heartbeat or two it takes to just ask myself the question is often long enough for me to jump off the crazy train.

So, the next time you see a peer come in late or leave early or call-in a “work from home” at the last minute, don’t assume the worst.  Just keep your eyes open for an opportunity to help a person who just might need a friend more than they need a judge.