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- July 23rd, 2009
Last night, there was an absolutely breath-taking routine on “So You Think You Can Dance” that move so many people to tears. I think the performers themselves were humbled by the reaction of the judges and the crowd. I know my wife and I were moved. It was incredible. Do yourself a favor and check it out:
My wife watched it again today; she watches her favorite numbers each week more than a few times. Of course, this one “got” her again, and she cried. Our littlest happened to be in the room with her, and he noticed her tears. “Why are you crying, Mama?” he asked her. “This makes me miss my grandma’s,” she told him. Both endured their own struggles with cancer during their lifetimes. Both passed years ago. He was quiet. Our oldest was nowhere to be found but, even at a young age, he would have been all empathy. He would have been articulate, too, and said something like, “I’m sorry you are sad, Mama. I miss them, too. Can I get you a tissue or something?” If you’re smiling, it’s probably because you know our oldest… So, my wife figured that the moment was lost on our littlest, perhaps a little too “heavy” a situation for him to fully process. Children are much more acutely aware of the feelings of adults, particularly their parents and/or primary caregivers. They are attuned to emotion in a way that I think is difficult for most of us, as adults, to comprehend. Most of us lose that finely-tuned ability. But the truth is, you often don’t have to speak a word in order for a child to be able to feel what you feel. Empathy and instinct are two of the most fundamental communication gifts that we learn to ignore as we grow into adulthood. It’s a shame. The gifts we could give each other…could be so beautiful. My precious, little boy looked up at his mother and spoke softly: “I can pretend to be your grandma, Mama.”
My wife watched it again today; she watches her favorite numbers each week more than a few times. Of course, this one “got” her again, and she cried. Our littlest happened to be in the room with her, and he noticed her tears. “Why are you crying, Mama?” he asked her. “This makes me miss my grandma’s,” she told him. Both endured their own struggles with cancer during their lifetimes. Both passed years ago. He was quiet. Our oldest was nowhere to be found but, even at a young age, he would have been all empathy. He would have been articulate, too, and said something like, “I’m sorry you are sad, Mama. I miss them, too. Can I get you a tissue or something?” If you’re smiling, it’s probably because you know our oldest… So, my wife figured that the moment was lost on our littlest, perhaps a little too “heavy” a situation for him to fully process. Children are much more acutely aware of the feelings of adults, particularly their parents and/or primary caregivers. They are attuned to emotion in a way that I think is difficult for most of us, as adults, to comprehend. Most of us lose that finely-tuned ability. But the truth is, you often don’t have to speak a word in order for a child to be able to feel what you feel. Empathy and instinct are two of the most fundamental communication gifts that we learn to ignore as we grow into adulthood. It’s a shame. The gifts we could give each other…could be so beautiful. My precious, little boy looked up at his mother and spoke softly: “I can pretend to be your grandma, Mama.”
Illuminate Possibilities 