Share What Makes You Special

 I can say without any doubt in my mind that the thing that you’ve been told time and time again makes you special is worth sharing with the rest of the world.  I’m quite positive of that.

The reason is simple: people enjoy experiencing other people who love what they are doing. It just feels good.  It makes you smile.  Sometimes you giggle, chuckle, chortle, or guffaw. Sometimes you laugh hysterically to the point of crying.  Sometimes you walk away with such a warm feeling that it rubs off on you and colors the way you treat other people for the next several hours.  That latter one should be reason enough to want to share your positive energy with everyone else on the planet.

There real reason you should want to share what makes you special is that it will give you life, pure and simple. The energy you give to others comes back to you, amplified and multiplied. Try it out, and you’ll see. What? Does your experience tell you something different? Can you think about all the times that you’ve shared your joy with others only to have it reject, twisted, and used against you? I am sure you can. There’s a scientific explanation for that, of course.

There are several phenomena that affect memory recall, three of the most relevant being recency, frequency, and intensity. 

Even though my spellchecker doesn’t like the word, recency exists. In psychological terms, specifically memory recall, recency describes a phenomenon whereby our most recent experiences are the easiest to recall. It is much easier to remember what you ate for lunch yesterday versus the same day last week. Likewise, if someone you were being kind to two days ago was a jerk to you, you are most likely to recall the details and emotions of the moment more vividly. 

Frequency describes a phenomenon whereby our most frequent experiences are the easiest to recall. If you eat the same thing for lunch every day, then you are more likely to be able to recite your personal menu to anyone who asks. Likewise, if someone you were trying to be kind to was a jerk to you every time you said “Good morning!” to them, you are most likely to recall the details and emotions of the moment more vividly.

Intensity describes a phenomenon whereby our most intense experiences are the easiest to recall. If you ate something three years ago for lunch that just knocked your socks off and made you weep with culinary job because it was that good, then you are more likely to remember what you ate (plus where you ate it, the time, the date, and the name of the waitress) that particular day. Likewise, if someone you were being kind to punched you in the mouth and took the keys to your car, you are most likely to recall the detail and emotions of the moment more vividly. And, hopefully, avoid that person.

This brings us back to sharing that special thing about you with others. Chances are the recency and/or intensity of a negative experience keep us from being able to honestly assess the effect sharing of ourselves has on other people. They also cloud our ability to objectively judge frequency. Even if frequency were a factor, chances are the frequency of negative experience can be attributed to one or two individuals who don’t represent the general population. It has been my experience that the vast majority of people respond positively to kindness, compassion, and the thing that makes me special. 

Don’t let a few bad experiences keep you from sharing everything you have to offer. 

That would be a tragic shame.