Don’t Be Afraid to Find Your Heart…

I told my wife and my kids: “There is not a single soul on this Earth that is not in some way influenced by every decision you make.  And there is not a single soul who does not likewise influence you.”

Take a snapshot, at this moment, of every human life on Earth.  Each is the result of a series of decisions leading up to this moment.  Some of the decisions are internal to the individual, some are external.  All carried us here to right now and will carry us into tomorrow.

I had a great conversation with a friend at work today.  In giving him some examples of how circumstances and decisions changed the lives of different well-known individuals, he made the comment, “And our own series of decisions brought us here!  If not for each of them, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here!”  He went on: “Do you remember Richard who used to work here?  I’ve known him since I was five years old!”  While that doesn’t sound all that amazing, consider that we are in the state of Illinois.  When he was five, my friend lived in a different part of the world altogether.

For another reason, his example made my hair stand on end.  “That’s an interesting example!” I told him.  “Did you know, that when our company made it’s first recruiting trip to his and your alma mater, they planned on sending a recruiter of Filipino descent and an African-American, neither of whom spoke Spanish?”  He couldn’t believe it.  We laughed.  “So, they invited my brother to go along, knowing his family was from the same place and that he spoke the language.”  My friend stopped laughing.  “Do you know what’s even better?  My brother helped recruit Richard as an intern!”  Shocked look on his face.  He had no idea.  Then I told him a quick story about my mother.

Decades ago, my mother went to someone for advice because she felt feelings for a man.  Her feelings for the man did not coincide with what she had been planning for her life.  Her confidant said to her, “You have to see him one more time to decide if you are in love with him.”  So she did.  And she was.  That man was my father.

The decision that person made to advise my mother to look into her heart and face her feelings ultimately led to my friend working at the same company I do.  On my team.  We have worked together for almost two years now, and never once did the degree to which our lives are intertwined reveal itself to either of us.  Until today, the day after I finished “Outliers.”  How incredible is that?

There are several lessons here.  

First, it reaffirms what I already know: do not be afraid to live life on your terms.  I am committed to being who I am, wherever I may be, in every moment.  Without that, I would never have had so personal a conversation with someone at work and missed out on an opportunity to experience one of those wondrous and mysterious moments in life.

Second, search for the chains of events in your life, the sets of circumstances and decisions, that were key in carrying you to this moment.  Allow yourself to feel gratitude for them.  Each, for better or worse, has made you who you are.  

Third, recognize that there is a whole chain of decisions yet to be made and that each will reverberate across the planet.  The ripples will touch every other human soul.

Fourth, my mother found the courage to explore her heart.  Look where it led.  Don’t be afraid to find your heart, set it free, and follow it.