I Will Effectively Remove Most Traces of Assness

So, do I really believe that leading people is just like parenting? No, I don’t. However, I do firmly believe that there are many similarities, and, more importantly, I believe that what I learn either at home or at work can be used either at home or at work.

The simplest example goes like this. I get frustrated at home. I raise my voice. My kids feel bad when I do. It affects their motivation. I raise my voice again. My wife asks me, “Do you talk to your team like that?” Begrudgingly (and not always instantly), I concede to her point. If I can’t get away with something at work, why on Earth would I feel like I can get away with it at home, with the people that I love more than anything else on the planet? I’ll take that up a notch, too. It’s not that I can’t be a belligerent ass at work. Rather, I choose not to be one. Even in this kinder, gentler workplace, there is plenty of belligerent assness to go around. I made the choice, though, that I would not be that kind of leader. At work. At home, there’s a different set of rules at work. Interestingly enough, some of those rules allow for ass-like behavior. And the results? Not so great.

Sometimes, we refuse to take what we learn in one setting and transfer it over into another. And THAT is precisely my point. It’s not only OK to do that, I would argue that it’s advantageous AND prudent to do it. Why? Because the 10,000-hour rule applies here. Remember that? It’s the rule that states that, in order to become a master at something, the average person must practice that skill for approximately 10,000 hours. That comes out to about four hours a day, every day, for ten years. So, logically, if I practice assless parenting and assless leadership, I will effectively remove most traces of assness from my approach to dealing with people in tough situations in about five years.