Big Boy Beds Can Be Scary for Little Boys…and Their Daddies

As my boys slept in our room, my wife and I remodeled their rooms. It wasn’t like an HGTV show or anything, but we did pretty well. My big guy sacrificed his lower bunk so his little brother could finally get a “big boy” bed. Even though we didn’t exactly present it as an option, I still found it heartwarming and sweet that he didn’t protest one bit at the idea of losing a bed. We spruced his room up a bit, too, so he has a “new room” just like little brother. As a matter of fact, he expressed gratitude for it at the dinner table this evening. That moved me.

My little guy took his first nap in his new bed this afternoon, and everything went well. I anticipate a few midnight visits now that he has the freedom to leave his bed and his room. That’s how it went for us with his brother, so I assume it will be the same for him. Maybe not. Doesn’t matter, really. It’s all just part of the deal when you decide to raise little people into big people. Tonight, my little guy reminded me of just how little he still is. In the dark, his cool “big boy” bed isn’t so cool. In fact, apparently, it’s a little frightening. He started crying when I closed the door to his room, so I went back in to talk to him. Turns out, monsters are more of a concern when you’re closer to the ground and not protected by bars all around you. We talked about his nap, the overall lack of monsters in our house, and how his new room isn’t really any different than his old room. I turned a light on in his closet, snuggled with him a bit, kissed hit forehead many times, and scratched the top of his head. I did something right because he let me leave. We’ll see how his first night goes…

It’s funny how much children flourish when given respect, the opportunity to participate in the course of their own lives, and the freedom to experience the good, the bad, and the scary. I used to think that my job as a daddy is to shelter and protect my children. I have come to realize that I can protect them, but sheltering does them harm in the end. My boys were watching “Finding Nemo” this evening. There’s a great scene where Nemo’s dad, Marlin, and his traveling companion, Dory, are arguing about something, and Marlin tells Dory that he doesn’t want anything to happen to his son. Dory responds, a bit perplexed, that a life with nothing happening doesn’t sound like much of a life. As much as I selfishly dread my little guy taping me on the forehead at 3 AM because he’s cold or tired or lonely, I think I might really be struggling with the fact that my littlest isn’t quite as little as he was two nights ago when I put him down to sleep in his crib. Time marches on, and, some day soon, my little boy really won’t be so little at all.

Big Boy Beds can be scary for little boys…and their daddies.