Say It with Love

When I was in elementary school, my father caught me breaking up with a girl on behalf of her boyfriend, one of my best friends. I was dumping by proxy. He told me something I never forgot: “Don’t do anyone’s dirty work for them; make them soil their own hands. And let THEM live with what happens next.” He waited a moment, and, more gently said, “Son, sometimes what you say is just as important as HOW you say it.” Superficially, I didn’t quite understand what he meant, but there was a much deeper part of me that hung tight to that nugget of wisdom.

At the age of 36, I completely get what my father wanted me to understand. He wanted me to understand that we must own our thoughts, own our expression of those thoughts, and own the consequences. I think that latter part is the most compelling: own the consequences of your words and your actions. Be accountable…no, TAKE accountability. Actively take accountability for what you say and what you do. And take accountability for how you deliver your message. In the end, that will most often be what stays with others.

So, for me there is only one answer. I do not believe that the circumstances matter. I do not believe that emotions matter. I do not believe that the story I craft to justify my very bad behavior matters. These are all matters of the ego, not of the soul. I believe that when I speak, I should be giving voice to what is in my soul. And in my soul there is nothing but oneness with the Universe. To me, the message should always come from that place, and there is only one way to get that message across:

Say It with Love.