The One About Being Present

My kids either teach me directly or are the conduits for lessons that the Universe sees fit to send my way.

My little guy still poops in pull-ups. He has daytime pull-ups and nighttime pull-ups. The daytime ones are used for pooping. The nighttime ones are used as security whilst we all sleep the wee-hours of the night away. Many nights, he’ll wake me so he can pee. Some mornings he’ll wake up dry and pee as soon as he gets up. Other mornings it’s clear that he chose not to wait. This is simply how it goes.

Tonight, we were watching his older brother playing Mario Kart Wii. The little guy walked up with a daytime pull-up and said, “I have to poop.” Engrossed, both went through the routine: pants down, pull-up on, and off to his private corner to poop. We both watched the older guy displaying mastery of the circuit, racing around the track, weaving in and out of his adversaries and their many super-charged attacks. Time passed, and all indications of a successful poop became evident. So, off we went to change into jammies.

Imagine my horror when, upon pulling off his pull-ups, I saw a pair of Nemo underwear. They were soaking wet and…well…unclean. “Ethan!” I exclaimed. “You pooped in your underwear!” “WHAT?!?” he gasped. We were both utterly shocked. Details from this point on matter little. My son forgave me (his words), but the message in his eyes was clear: idiot. Yes, Dad is an idiot.

Tonight, I failed to be present. I failed to be in the moment. I should have flowed from full attention to Mario Kart to full attention to my little son, dependent on me to navigate the tricky task of removing pants and underwear, replacing with pull-up, and facilitating pooping. I botched it because I failed to move from one moment to the next, being present for one as much as the other. In the process, I managed to make us one pair of Nemo undies short. Later in the evening, Mommy came home, and I did it again. Nothing to do with poop this time, but I failed to successfully and completely move from one moment to the next. I failed to be present. I guess I don’t always get my lessons the first time.

The Universe works in mysterious ways, and often my kids serve as unwitting teachers. My wife often plays tutor. Sometimes, I’m all over the lesson. Other times…not so much. Like the one about being present.